I remember sitting on a ferry one summer, about to get involved in something that would ultimately keep me busy for 3 years, talking myself into it with the soothing caveat that if I didn’t like it, I could always quit.
I did eventually quit, after I had put my time in and felt I’d done as much as I could. That time, at least, I didn’t use my back door. Because that’s what it was – that soothing voice in my head telling me I could always quit – a back door; a way of letting me off the hook. Of always being one foot short of full commitment.
I know I’m not alone in doing this – I hear it from friends and colleagues frequently – and sometimes about pretty important things, like marriage, buying a house, moving to a new city. Choices that will shape our lives and change us forever.
There are ways of catching ourselves when we’re about to bail like this. Here are three that may save you future grief, and eventually bring you joy:
- Know what truly moves you. Sometimes we end up in a situation that is more important or meaningful for someone we care about than it is for us. This can cloud our judgment so that we my mistake our desire to be with our friend for a desire to be there for any other reason.
- Love yourself enough to treat every choice as important and worthy of your full attention. I believe that some of us, me included, can minimize and dismiss important decisions by first dismissing ourselves. We aren’t that important; we should consider ourselves lucky to have this opportunity. This kind of inner voice is a false voice from the past and has nothing to do with reality. In every instance, we are worthy of the best possible we can attain, and that begins with our choices.
- When in doubt, go with your gut. It takes time to know what your gut is telling you, especially if you have a powerful mind. Your gut knowing comes from your years of experience and living. If there’s a conflict between your head and your gut, go with the experience of your wise inner self – your gut.
Quote of the Day
The changes we dread most may contain our salvation. – Barbara Kingsolver
At times we need more – we know the logic, know what to do. And yet something is still blocking us. As a registered psychotherapist and stress coach, I offer individual one-on-one consultations. For more information, visit my websitewww.thejoyofliving.co/programs or contact me directly firstname.lastname@example.org