There are 7 pillars of mindfulness that are contemplated as part of a Buddhist practice. Cultivating patience is one of these.
It’s said that with patience, we understand and accept that sometimes things must unfold in their own time. In this way, patience is a form of wisdom – it reminds us that we, along with every thing in existence is in process, and that this process can’t be hurried. Try forcing a square peg into a round hole: if you persist, the peg will likely break and the hole will become deformed. The same happens with every process we attempt to force.
So often, it’s us we try to force, becoming impatient with our own process. We loose weight too slowly (then gain it back too quickly); we keep stumbling over mistakes while learning, ignoring or forgetting that stumbling is a necessary part of learning; we want it all – NOW – knowing in the back of our minds that anything worthwhile takes time.
I’d like to distinguish the mindful quality of patience from a natural energetic that some of us have that’s called impatience. Some of us naturally move fast, think fast, walk fast. If you’re like this, it’s as natural for you to be this way as it is for someone else to saunter. Trying to force yourself to slow down wouldn’t work any better than trying to force a slow person to speed up, and may indicate an impatience to achieve some kind of imagined perfection that actually goes against what you are naturally. It’s a kind of lack of acceptance and tollerance that I’ll cover in a few weeks.
Patience brings self-compassion to our awareness, helping us acknowledge and accept our own process. This kind of compassion melts away all inner resistance, allowing us to be open to each moment as it happens – without judgment – trusting that the process is unfolding perfectly as it is.
The next time you find yourself getting impatient with something you’re doing – even meditating (many of us believe there is a “right” way to meditate, for instance) – take some time to be with the feeling, and with the sensations this creates in your body. Let is simply be, taking an interest in your natural, organic process of being with these feelings and sensations.
I first read of the 7 pillars of mindfulness in Jon Kabat-Zinn’s book on mindfulness Full Catastrophe Living. These pillars are Buddhist principles that help us be present and mindful in our everyday living. The 7 meditations I offer to anyone who signs up on my website www.thehjoyofliving.co are based on these, and I use them in my own meditation practice.
Maryanne Nicholls is a Registered Psychotherapist. To find out more, gain access to her weekly newsletter, meditations and programmes, sign up at www.thejoyofliving.co .