I listen to a friend talk about her pain – she said something less than kind to her sister. Her sister reacted and my friend is now going to spend the holidays alone. She’s naturally distressed and is kicking herself – hard – for saying what she can’t now take back.
Knowing my friend, she’ll be fine, and at the right time will make amends to her sister. It isn’t something that will linger for her. But until she does that, she might do what most of us do – judge herself harshly and wallow for a while in misery.
When I examine my own way with judgment, I can easily go that route. What I know now is that every time I do that to myself, I also do it to others. It binds me to a very narrow way of viewing life. For instance, let’s say I sprain my ankle because I went out for a walk at night in shoes that weren’t good in snow. While I’m lying in pain on the sidewalk, I might self-talk like this: “What an idiot thing to do! You knew better and really! In a way, I deserve this!”
Imagine what I’ll think when I hear of someone doing something similar.
On the other hand, I could have said to myself: “Well, that could have been foreseen! Better take care getting home and nurse my ankle.”
How might my judgment of the next person doing something similar have changed?
Be kind to yourself. Not blindly self-indulgent, but compassionate towards yourself and others over the foibles you walk into.
Best wishes to you and yours over the holidays!
Now I’d love to hear from you about your own experiences, knowledge, opinions. In the comments below, share one thing that you experienced as a mirror moment that changed your day, or even your life.
This newsletter is in three parts: the first part is my contribution; the second is a video I’ve found that relates to the topic in part 1; the third is a quote. I hope you enjoy the richness this brings to the topic of the week with all three parts.
Byron Katie on Judgment
Quote of the Week
Can you look without the voice in your head commenting, drawing conclusions, comparing, or trying to figure something out?
― Eckhart Tolle, A New Earth: Awakening to Your Life’s Purpose
At times we need more – we know the logic, know what to do. And yet something is still blocking us. I offer both one-on-one consultations and coaching packages. For more information, visit my website www.thejoyofliving.co/services-and-programs or contact me directly at email@example.com