I’ve encountered a few personal issues lately that could, if I let them, stress me out. Dealt successfully with one yesterday, and dealing with the other today.
In the middle of all this, I recall a client asking me how she could help herself cope with a stressful living issue that she couldn’t immediately change. I am constantly learning from my clients, and thought I’d give what we jointly came up with a try.
What stresses me most is confrontation. I don’t like having someone’s finger pointed at me; I don’t like being judged and blamed. Hate it, in fact.
My immediate reaction is anger, even rage. And I don’t like feeling rage … I want the world and everyone in it to be fair, adult, and just.
Well, put that way, I can see that my desire is pure fantasy. Not that the real world is a dark place, but people – me included – can be unfair, dishonest in ways that fool even them, and definitely judgmental.
So, following the advice of that long ago collaboration, here’s what I did:
- I acknowledged my pain – my worry, my anger and rage – as legitimate and real. I do this because it’s easy for me to discount my own feelings.
- Then, I deliberately altered my perspective by taking deep and anchoring breaths, and thinking about all the good things in my life. Those good things make anything else that happens seem a lot less focal. This exercise effectively puts things into perspective for me – and that’s a good place to be.
- And now I have a better chance of dealing with the latest issue – even-handedly and with good perspective.
No magic wand. No clever trick. Just self-acknowledgment, making space, and upping my perspective.
Marie Forleo – Stress
Burning the Candle?
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Quote of the Week
― David Mamet, Boston MarriageAnnouncementAt times we need more – we know the logic, know what to do. And yet something is still blocking us. I offer both one-on-one consultations and coaching packages. For more information, visit my website www.thejoyofliving.co/services-and-programs or contact me directly at email@example.com . Maryanne Nicholls is a Registered Psychotherapist and Life Coach. To find out more, gain access to her weekly newsletter, meditations and programmes, sign up at www.thejoyofliving.co.