I’ve been blogging a lot about depression and isolation. It is a hot topic this time of year. People don’t often realize how serious isolation can be and the role depression and/or anxiety can play in it. Well, what about expectations and self-compassion. These are two secret things associated with both isolation and depression that are not talked about as much as they should be.
Let me dive right into expectations. We put too much pressure upon ourselves. We expect that other people feel great all the time and that we are failing in life if we don’t even feel great half of the time. Well, these expectations are clearly just wrong! You can’t expect to feel great all of the time or most of the time if you have clinical depression or if you start to isolate yourself. In fact, isolation will lead to you feeling terrible most of the time and with depression, it may be impossible (without help) to feel great more days than bad days. Being human comes with a thrilling roller coaster of emotions. It is important to remind yourself that even the happiest people have bad days and expecting yourself to not have bad days or feelings moments clarity followed by moments of sadness is a set-up and unrealistic.
Self-compassion. We should understand ourselves better than anyone else. Yet, the big secret here is that we often question ourselves more than we try to understand ourselves or even be empathetic to our own limitations! I once read an article on depression where the author was honest enough to write, “always attacking myself for perceived flaws or failings or (God forbid) imperfections. I could offer compassion to other people and animals and even the earth — but to myself? Never! At least, not until I actively worked to cultivate a sense of self-compassion.” How true. I can help you understand how to find your own self-compassion and how to really understand yourself and your own emotions so you don’t resort to isolation. And- BTW- it becomes more and more hard to be compassionate towards yourself when you fall into the isolation trap.
Still have questions? Want to start a conversation? Please do not hesitate to contact me. I do offer online services.