Gestalt therapy deals with many emotions. I often talk to clients who are harboring a lot of anger. Often, the anger they feel is a secondary emotion related to something else. Sadness leads to anger. Abandonment leads to anger. Anxiety leads to frustration and then anger. Disappointment leads to anger…. you get the point.

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While the below at-home exercise will not cure you of anger- and the underlining emotions or causes, it is a step in the right direction. At-home or not, I often encourage my clients to understand the words behind their anger. This doesn’t mean any curse words you may have used during a heated moment. Instead, it is more of a reflection upon what is upsetting you , causing the anger, and – most importantly- understanding the anger in a present moment.

When you’re at home and you feel heated or angry, talk to yourself about. Find a safe and quite place. Speaking out loud, talk about your anger. Describe how it feels. Think about where you are and what you are truly feeling- outside the small “anger” word. For example, if you are angry because your husband didn’t take the trash out… again, describe that during this angry word session. You might say something like, “I’m angry because I feel frustrated. When he doesn’t take the trash out I feel disrespected and unheard, which causes me to feel this way.”  With this example, anger is more frustration and hurt. You can accept the present and then create a rational plan, choosing the best words, to overcome the emotions and correct the problem or miscommunication with the other party.  Simply accepting that you’re angry isn’t as healthy for you as understanding why you’re angry and what else is leading to these feelings.  This exercise allows you to really be in the present in the healthiest mindset possible.

In my private online or in-person sessions, I also dive further to help you understand the physical symptoms of anger in the now and how they manifested this way by not addressing emotions from your past. Together, we work to move forward and to find a place of peace.

 

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