7 DAYS OF MINDFULNESS-BASED MEDITATIONS – FREE

Do you ever feel that you’re burning the candle at both ends? Many of us feel this way but fail to speak up. Well, let me first say that you’re not alone. Many people feel this way- especially women. We live in a 24/7 news / event society. We wake up and check our cell phones. We go to bed right after checking our cell phones. Work never stops sending emails. Kids are kids. And, as if this wasn’t enough, there are many social and emotional challenges that all of us face daily. Our minds are racing, our hearts are pumping, and we think we can keep up on the hamster wheel until it breaks.

Don’t spin your wheels any longer. I can help you to stop burning the candle at both ends before those ends meet! Now, I wouldn’t offer you something without knowing that it could be accessible to everyone reading this post. So, as a result, I’m giving away online access to my Free (yes, free with an “F”) 7-day meditation course. It is an audio course that you can listen to and guess what- you can do this from anywhere!

Here’s the link: http://thejoyofliving.co/7day-meditation

7 day 3

If you feel passed the 7-day Free course and want more information on my in-person or online full course that deals with burning the candle at both ends, you can access more information here: http://thejoyofliving.co/programs/ You’re not obligated to buy this course first or after your free 7-Day meditation course. That meditation gift truly is from me to you and goes without any pressure or obligation to seek further services.

Life can be hard. I can help you to stand still for a second and understand the true benefits of both meditation and self-awareness.

GET FREE ACCESS TO MY 7-DAY MINDFULNESS BASED MEDITATION AUDIO PROGRAM

Nice? or Kind?

nice

 

Foreigners say that Canadians are “nice” – especially our southern neighbors. Having lived on both sides of this country, I’d say that’s truer for Eastern Canada rather than Western Canada. People are generally polite. At least in Toronto, being anything but polite is considered uncivilized.

Toronto is also a major power centre in Canada, and I don’t think that’s a coincidence. Being “nice” can be civilized, and often is. It can also be used for less than nice reasons: masking cruelty behind a smile, or avoiding difficult situations that really need addressing.

Kindness, on the other hand, can at times look distinctly un-nice. When a friend tries on an outfit that really doesn’t suit her, for instance, it’s kind to let her know, and ‘”nice” to lie to avoid hurt feelings (who among us hasn’t done this?). Or, giving feedback that is hard to take – and to give – that if heeded, will help that person grow.

Being nice can at times be shallow. Being kind never is.

Don’t be nice – Justin Lamb

 Quote of the Week

“’Nice’ and ‘Kind’ are 2 completely different things.” – Glennon Doyle

Announcements

Need more? At times we need more  – we know the logic, know what to do. And yet something is still blocking us.  I offer both one-on-one consultations and coaching packages.  For more information, visit my website www.thejoyofliving.co/services-and-programs or contact me directly at maryanne@thejoyofliving.co .

Maryanne Nicholls is a Registered Psychotherapist and Life Coach.  To find out more, gain access to her weekly newsletter, meditations and programmes, sign up atwww.thejoyofliving.co.

Nice? or Kind?

nice

 

Foreigners say that Canadians are “nice” – especially our southern neighbors. Having lived on both sides of this country, I’d say that’s truer for Eastern Canada rather than Western Canada. People are generally polite. At least in Toronto, being anything but polite is considered uncivilized.

Toronto is also a major power centre in Canada, and I don’t think that’s a coincidence. Being “nice” can be civilized, and often is. It can also be used for less than nice reasons: masking cruelty behind a smile, or avoiding difficult situations that really need addressing.

Kindness, on the other hand, can at times look distinctly un-nice. When a friend tries on an outfit that really doesn’t suit her, for instance, it’s kind to let her know, and ‘”nice” to lie to avoid hurt feelings (who among us hasn’t done this?). Or, giving feedback that is hard to take – and to give – that if heeded, will help that person grow.

Being nice can at times be shallow. Being kind never is.

 

Announcements

If you like this blog, you’ll also like my newsletters. It’s written only for my insiders who sign up, and provides weekly insights, not only from me, but from others I admire.

To sign up for my insider newsletter, click here.  If you find it doesn’t work for you, all you have to do to unsubscribe is click on the link at the bottom of the newsletter.

Looking forward to welcoming you to my growing list of insiders!

Maryanne

 

Maryanne Nicholls is a Registered Psychotherapist.  To find out more, gain access to her weekly newsletter, meditations and programmes, sign up at www.thejoyofliving.co .

Here and Now – what it means

“Here and now” – I hear and read it all over; in yoga magazines, on websites, in health-related talks. Everywhere! And yet, it isn’t new; it’s been around for a long time, perhaps a really long time.  I first heard it when I was a student learning to be a yoga teacher, and then a gestalt therapist.

In gestalt therapy, it’s what we do as a therapist, helping our clients focus on what is present in their lives in the moment, instead of what they judge to be happening based on past unresolved experiences.

One part of our training is that we first learn about our own blocks. It’s part of what is termed the “Safe and Effective Use of Self”, or SEUS for short, and it involves clearing up our own unfinished business, learning the signs, and knowing how not to bring that into the therapy room.

For me, the whole point of therapy is to help a person be fluid in the present, unhindered by something that is making them rigid and unresponsive to their world. For instance – and I’ll use myself in this example – a few weeks ago, I was getting ready for a presentation that was really important to me. Usually, when I get ready, I write something out and then practice, practice, practice. Yes, it’s always a lot of work, but writing comes easy for me. Not this time.  For some reason, I kept getting stuck. When I finally stopped to examine what the problem was, I discovered that I was really scared that I’d picked the wrong topic, and that the whole thing would be ruined. It was too late to change the topic – I’d already announced it all over the place. The only thing to do was to forge ahead.

But that did it for me. Every time I’d allow the thought “What if this topic is all wrong!” to creep in, I’d be stopped. My solar plexus would seize up, my throat would go dry, and all those words and concepts and stories I’d memorized would disappear. Worrying put me in my head, imagining past disasters, and I lost all presence and connection to what and who was around me.

I got through the presentation, and it was well received.  But one piece of feedback I received was that the flow wasn’t there as it usually is. The reason was because of that inner battle I fought right up to the day before.

Yes – the day before. Because I’ve learned a valuable technique: no matter what, when I’ve done whatever I can to properly prepare, then I relax and trust the process, so that I’m free to be present for my audience or my client.

That’s my way of being here and now for others. What’s yours?

Alan Watts – Being completely Here and Now

Quote of the Week
“Wherever you are, be there. If you can be fully present now, you’ll know what it means to live.”
― Steve Goodier

Announcements

Need more? At times we need more  – we know the logic, know what to do. And yet something is still blocking us.  I offer both one-on-one consultations and coaching packages.  For more information, visit my website www.thejoyofliving.co/services-and-programs or contact me directly at maryanne@thejoyofliving.co .

Maryanne Nicholls is a Registered Psychotherapist and Life Coach.  To find out more, gain access to her weekly newsletter, meditations and programmes, sign up at www.thejoyofliving.co.

Here and Now – what it means

“Here and now” – I hear and read it all over; in yoga magazines, on websites, in health-related talks. Everywhere! And yet, it isn’t new; it’s been around for a long time, perhaps a really long time.  I first heard it when I was a student learning to be a yoga teacher, and then a gestalt therapist.

In gestalt therapy, it’s what we do as a therapist, helping our clients focus on what is present in their lives in the moment, instead of what they judge to be happening based on past unresolved experiences.

One part of our training is that we first learn about our own blocks. It’s part of what is termed the “Safe and Effective Use of Self”, or SEUS for short, and it involves clearing up our own unfinished business, learning the signs, and knowing how not to bring that into the therapy room.

For me, the whole point of therapy is to help a person be fluid in the present, unhindered by something that is making them rigid and unresponsive to their world. For instance – and I’ll use myself in this example – a few weeks ago, I was getting ready for a presentation that was really important to me. Usually, when I get ready, I write something out and then practice, practice, practice. Yes, it’s always a lot of work, but writing comes easy for me. Not this time.  For some reason, I kept getting stuck. When I finally stopped to examine what the problem was, I discovered that I was really scared that I’d picked the wrong topic, and that the whole thing would be ruined. It was too late to change the topic – I’d already announced it all over the place. The only thing to do was to forge ahead.

But that did it for me. Every time I’d allow the thought “What if this topic is all wrong!” to creep in, I’d be stopped. My solar plexus would seize up, my throat would go dry, and all those words and concepts and stories I’d memorized would disappear. Worrying put me in my head, imagining past disasters, and I lost all presence and connection to what and who was around me.

I got through the presentation, and it was well received.  But one piece of feedback I received was that the flow wasn’t there as it usually is. The reason was because of that inner battle I fought right up to the day before.

Yes – the day before. Because I’ve learned a valuable technique: no matter what, when I’ve done whatever I can to properly prepare, then I relax and trust the process, so that I’m free to be present for my audience or my client.

That’s my way of being here and now for others. What’s yours?

Announcements

If you like this blog, you’ll also like my newsletters It’s written only for my insiders who sign up, and provides weekly insights, not only from me, but from others I admire.

To sign up  for my insider newsletter, click here.  If you find it doesn’t work for you, all you have to do to unsubscribe is click on the link at the bottom of the newsletter.

Looking forward to welcoming you to my growing list of insiders!

Maryanne

 

Maryanne Nicholls is a Registered Psychotherapist.  To find out more, gain access to her weekly newsletter, meditations and programmes, sign up at www.thejoyofliving.co .

Problems and Solutions

problems

Do problems always have solutions?

Seth Godin, in a recent blog,  talked about problems. He noted that if a problem doesn’t have a solution, then it is not a problem! It may be a regrettable situation, but not a problem. Instead, it’s something you have to live with.

Some examples in my current life, and why I’m writing about it:

  • I’m holding a function on Saturday. For it, I’ve spent more time than I can count on preparations, and then even more time worrying over whether anyone would show up. As it happens, there are so many people showing up I will have to start turning people back. Is that a problem? Not really. The only “problem” is how I’m going to let people know the event is filled. Nothing else is possible at this point.
  • In that function, there will be all kinds of new experiences for some of the participants, and I want to make sure there is good support for these people. As it happens, most of those who signed up are new, and to make it a good experience for them, I need more experienced people to be there too. Is that a problem? Yes it is! And I have a solution – recruit a few more experienced people, and have additional material and support on hand.

All problems, without exception, have solutions. Isn’t that comforting to know? It is to me!

 

How frustration can make us more creative

 

Quote of the Week

Generally speaking, books don’t cause much harm. Except when you read them, that is. Then they cause all kinds of problems.”
― Pseudonymous Bosch, The Name of This Book Is Secret

 

Announcement

Need more? At times we need more  – we know the logic, know what to do. And yet something is still blocking us.  I offer both one-on-one consultations and coaching packages.  For more information, visit my website www.thejoyofliving.co/services-and-programs or contact me directly at maryanne@thejoyofliving.co .

Maryanne Nicholls is a Registered Psychotherapist and Life Coach.  To find out more, gain access to her weekly newsletter, meditations and programmes, sign up atwww.thejoyofliving.co.

 

Problems and Solutions

problems

Do problems always have solutions?

Seth Godin, in a recent blog,  talked about problems. He noted that if a problem doesn’t have a solution, then it is not a problem! It may be a regrettable situation, but not a problem. Instead, it’s something you have to live with.

Some examples in my current life, and why I’m writing about it:

  • I’m holding a function on Saturday. For it, I’ve spent more time than I can count on preparations, and then even more time worrying over whether anyone would show up. As it happens, there are so many people showing up I will have to start turning people back. Is that a problem? Not really. The only “problem” is how I’m going to let people know the event is filled. Nothing else is possible at this point.
  • In that function, there will be all kinds of new experiences for some of the participants, and I want to make sure there is good support for these people. As it happens, most of those who signed up are new, and to make it a good experience for them, I need more experienced people to be there too. Is that a problem? Yes it is! And I have a solution – recruit a few more experienced people, and have additional material and support on hand.

All problems, without exception, have solutions. Isn’t that comforting to know? It is to me!

 

Announcements

If you like this blog, you’ll also like my newsletters. It’s written only for my insiders who sign up, and provides weekly insights, not only from me, but from others I admire.

To sign up for my insider newsletter, click here.  If you find it doesn’t work for you, all you have to do to unsubscribe is click on the link at the bottom of the newsletter.

Looking forward to welcoming you to my growing list of insiders!

Maryanne

 

Maryanne Nicholls is a Registered Psychotherapist.  To find out more, gain access to her weekly newsletter, meditations and programmes, sign up at www.thejoyofliving.co .

 

Mistakes

 

Mistakes. Like …

  1. I’m experiencing a typical day in my life – rushing around, trying to get the most done in the least time. A friend calls and wants 5 minutes, but I’m panicking about getting everything done, and I put her off, telling her I’ll get back to her later. Then I don’t.
  2. One day, after a long period of research and analysis, weighing the pros and cons, I decide to buy a car. That car turns out to be a lemon.

These are examples of the 2 kinds of mistakes we tend to make. The first happens when we don’t think, or pause, or consider the consequences. It happens because we’re afraid of something – not meeting a deadline, someone’s opinion of us, for instance. The second happens in spite of our best efforts, and is probably unavoidable.

The fallout from the first one is remorse, guilt, shame – generally feeling bad about ourselves. The second one has fallout too – but it’s more about feeling a loss, and then looking at what we could do better next time.

That first kind of mistake always hurts others, including ourselves, even if we don’t know it. Mostly, it hurts those closest to us.  The second hurts too, but it doesn’t hurt others.  It’s like getting a cut or even breaking a leg.  It does damage, but it’s damage that will mend.

We can learn to avoid the first kind of mistake by first, becoming aware of how we end up making it, then making the changes that will prevent it. It takes courage to face our dark side, and self-forgiveness.

And … it’s so worth it!

 How to learn? From mistakes!

 

 

Quote of the Week

Isn’t it nice to think that tomorrow is a new day with no mistakes in it yet?
― L.M. Montgomery

 

Announcements

Need more? At times we need more  – we know the logic, know what to do. And yet something is still blocking us.  I offer both one-on-one consultations and coaching packages.  For more information, visit my website www.thejoyofliving.co/services-and-programs or contact me directly at maryanne@thejoyofliving.co . Maryanne Nicholls is a Registered Psychotherapist and Life Coach.  To find out more, gain access to her weekly newsletter, meditations and programmes, sign up at www.thejoyofliving.co.

Mistakes

 

Mistakes. Like …

  1. I’m experiencing a typical day in my life – rushing around, trying to get the most done in the least time. A friend calls and wants 5 minutes, but I’m panicking about getting everything done, and I put her off, telling her I’ll get back to her later. Then I don’t.
  2. One day, after a long period of research and analysis, weighing the pros and cons, I decide to buy a car. That car turns out to be a lemon.

These are examples of the 2 kinds of mistakes we tend to make. The first happens when we don’t think, or pause, or consider the consequences. It happens because we’re afraid of something – not meeting a deadline, someone’s opinion of us, for instance. The second happens in spite of our best efforts, and is probably unavoidable.

The fallout from the first one is remorse, guilt, shame – generally feeling bad about ourselves. The second one has fallout too – but it’s more about feeling a loss, and then looking at what we could do better next time.

That first kind of mistake always hurts others, including ourselves, even if we don’t know it. Mostly, it hurts those closest to us.  The second hurts too, but it doesn’t hurt others.  It’s like getting a cut or even breaking a leg.  It does damage, but it’s damage that will mend.

We can learn to avoid the first kind of mistake by first, becoming aware of how we end up making it, then making the changes that will prevent it. It takes courage to face our dark side, and self-forgiveness.

And … it’s so worth it!

 

Announcements

If you like this blog, you’ll also like my newsletters. It’s written only for my insiders who sign up, and provides weekly insights, not only from me, but from others I admire.

To sign up for my insider newsletter, click here.  If you find it doesn’t work for you, all you have to do to unsubscribe is click on the link at the bottom of the newsletter.

Looking forward to welcoming you to my growing list of insiders!

Maryanne

 

Maryanne Nicholls is a Registered Psychotherapist.  To find out more, gain access to her weekly newsletter, meditations and programmes, sign up at www.thejoyofliving.co .

Imposter syndrome

imposter syndrome

 

A lot of people feel they are a fraud. Even Maya Anjelou felt that way sometimes. Members of traditionally underrepresented groups tend to feel this more. There are lots of motivational talks, books and videos that can help you if you suffer from this.

One aspect that interests me is this: in every thought there is at least a tiny piece of truth. I’m not saying I am an imposter, but I respect myself too much to poopoo this feeling completely when it does happen.

When I sense this thought creeping up on me, I’ve learned to ask myself a few questions, like “What legitimate reason might there be?”, “Am I afraid of doing something I’ve judged I ‘should’ already know, but is new to me?”, or “Are my personal expectations set too high?”.

  • Legitimate reason: perhaps there is something I don’t know and need to learn, or find someone else who does know this thing and get them on board. Nobody knows everything, not even long-time experts.
  • Fear of doing something new: As I get older, I also get more confident in what I’ve been doing for a while. Then something new comes along, and I’m a novice again. Will I get stuck, or make a mistake? Possibly, but if I have a strategy in place that covers this, I’ll be fine.
  • High expectations: This is probably the toughest one for me, because I do have high expectations for myself. A realistic assessment will help me adjust my expectations to something more attainable.

Traditionally, women feel this syndrome much more keenly than men. It’s been trained into us. If we’re honest, though, we’ll be able to exchange this undermining feeling for something more genuine and fitting. Pride in our own accomplishments, for instance.

The surprising solution to the Imposter Syndrome

Quote of the Week

When I won the Oscar, I thought it was a fluke. I thought everybody would find out, and they’d take it back. They’d come to my house, knocking on the door, “Excuse me, we meant to give that to someone else. That was going to Meryl Streep.
-Jodie Foster

Announcements

Need more? At times we need more  – we know the logic, know what to do. And yet something is still blocking us.  I offer both one-on-one consultations and coaching packages.  For more information, visit my website www.thejoyofliving.co/services-and-programs or contact me directly at maryanne@thejoyofliving.co . Maryanne Nicholls is a Registered Psychotherapist and Life Coach.  To find out more, gain access to her weekly newsletter, meditations and programmes, sign up at www.thejoyofliving.co.

Imposter syndrome

imposter syndrome

 

A lot of people feel they are a fraud. Even Maya Anjelou felt that way sometimes. Members of traditionally underrepresented groups tend to feel this more. There are lots of motivational talks, books and videos that can help you if you suffer from this.

One aspect that interests me is this: in every thought there is at least a tiny piece of truth. I’m not saying I am an imposter, but I respect myself too much to poopoo this feeling completely when it does happen.

When I sense this thought creeping up on me, I’ve learned to ask myself a few questions, like “What legitimate reason might there be?”, “Am I afraid of doing something I’ve judged I ‘should’ already know, but is new to me?”, or “Are my personal expectations set too high?”.

  • Legitimate reason: perhaps there is something I don’t know and need to learn, or find someone else who does know this thing and get them on board. Nobody knows everything, not even long-time experts.
  • Fear of doing something new: As I get older, I also get more confident in what I’ve been doing for a while. Then something new comes along, and I’m a novice again. Will I get stuck, or make a mistake? Possibly, but if I have a strategy in place that covers this, I’ll be fine.
  • High expectations: This is probably the toughest one for me, because I do have high expectations for myself. A realistic assessment will help me adjust my expectations to something more attainable.

Traditionally, women feel this syndrome much more keenly than men. It’s been trained into us. If we’re honest, though, we’ll be able to exchange this undermining feeling for something more genuine and fitting. Pride in our own accomplishments, for instance.

Announcements

If you like this blog, you’ll also like my newsletters [link to latest newsletter that’s published in website ] for an sample]. It’s written only for my insiders who sign up, and provides weekly insights, not only from me, but from others I admire.

To sign up for my insider newsletter, click here.  If you find it doesn’t work for you, all you have to do to unsubscribe is click on the link at the bottom of the newsletter.

Looking forward to welcoming you to my growing list of insiders!

Maryanne

 

Maryanne Nicholls is a Registered Psychotherapist.  To find out more, gain access to her weekly newsletter, meditations and programmes, sign up at www.thejoyofliving.co .