… A word that terrifies me. When I think of that word – Chaos – I immediately imagine everything out of control. Then I get overwhelmed. Then I get anxious. Then I get stuck.
It doesn’t take much. Just that small moment of imagining one word.
Even writing this generates panic; a need to go off somewhere and regroup. And yet, in this year of my life, chaos rules.
I expect I’m not alone in feeling uncomfortable around chaos. Chaos can mean disorder, confusion, disarray. It can also mean that “formless matter supposed to have existed before the creation of the universe” (from Google).
The ancient Greeks thought of Chaos as a primordial void (very similar to our modern scientific version). Chaos was the first thing to exist, and out of Chaos were born the gods and goddesses that governed all life.
Chaos is all of these things. It’s what isn’t known. It’s where we must go to create anything new. With anything new, we start with the raw materials, then create a thing that is unique, that is more than simply the sum of it’s parts.
Chaos is change.
It’s also destruction, because whatever it is that is changing is also being destroyed, making room for that shiny new thing. Like what happens when I create a new dress out of a bolt of material. That bolt is gone, and in it’s place is a dress. Or when I take last year’s decomposed vegetables and use it to grow new ones this year. Or when I take what I’d tested a month ago to generate a new untested idea.
In truth, we all live in chaos all the time. Every time we move – even if it’s from the couch to the kitchen and back again – we are generating a bit of chaos. But, admittedly, sometimes there’s more chaos than other times. When we move locations, when we break up, when we marry, when we have a child, when we begin a new venture.
I’m thinking of chaos because I discovered how my until-now-undiscovered-fear of it has stopped me from going with it. From working with it. From enjoying it.
Now I’m wondering – how would my life be if I embraced it? How would other’s lives be?
How would your life be?
If you like this blog, you’ll love my newsletters “You are Enough Just as You Are” for a sample. It’s written only for my insiders who sign up, and provides weekly insights, not only from me, but from others I admire.
To sign up for my insider newsletter, click here. If you find it doesn’t work for you, all you have to do to unsubscribe is click on the link at the bottom of the newsletter.
Looking forward to welcoming you to my growing list of insiders!
Maryanne Nicholls is a Registered Psychotherapist. To find out more, gain access to her weekly newsletter, meditations and programmes, sign up at www.thejoyofliving.co .