Insanity is defined, originally by AA, as doing the same thing over and over and expecting different results.

Well, if that’s the definition, then most of us are insane.  Because that’s what we do: the same thing over and over expecting – praying for – different results.  Falling in love with the same guy and expecting things will be different this time. Eating the same junk and expecting to lose 20 pounds. Having the same daily routine and expecting that life is suddenly going to get better.

When we realize this – and most of us eventually do – we know we need to change. But it’s SO HARD!, we say. I don’t have the time. I’ve never done that before. My current boyfriend won’t like it.

All of these are excuses: Do I really have time to keep screwing up? Does doing something I’ve done before that doesn’t work trump trying something I’ve never done before that might work? Does the guy who’s just like the previous one that didn’t work out have that much say?

Whatever excuse we come up with can very easily be countered.  Why? Because it isn’t what’s really going on. If you dig a little, you can get to the real reason, which is probably something like  “I’m scared” or “I don’t believe this is good for me”.

What change leaders have discovered is that anyone can change if they understand what’s going on, if they can make the change manageable, and if they believe it’s going to make a real difference.

The truth is that when we know that a change is real and good, and that we have a say in it, change happens.

Drawing on Humor for Change


Quote of the Week
Be the change that you wish to see in the world.
― Mahatma Gandhi

At times we need more  – we know the logic, know what to do. And yet something is still blocking us.  I offer both one-on-one consultations and coaching packages.  For more information, visit my website or contact me directly at . Maryanne Nicholls is a Registered Psychotherapist and Life Coach.  To find out more, gain access to her weekly newsletter, meditations and programmes, sign up at .


2 thoughts on “Change”

  1. Dear Maryanne,
    Your message today really struck home for me. I am always amazed
    when I am looking for hope or an answer to something happening
    in my life and then I find it! What is happening is that I have been
    struggling for months with health problems, and constantly wishing
    ‘it would all go away’ and of course if doesn’t. Last night, here in
    Toronto we had a terrible ice storm. I think in a way it made me realize
    how lucky I was, safe in a secure building and with a caring daughter
    just at the other end of the phone. But what I am going through is the
    same thing that always happens when I am not feeling well. I experience
    so many thoughts of insecurity and doubts. I am in a program that tells
    me to “change the things I can’ and yet, sometimes it I get in my own
    way again. As an expert in these matters I am sure you have heard similar
    stories like mine. However it is so encouraging to know I can ‘open up’
    and share these feelings.
    Gwen Stanton
    Toronto, Ontario

    1. Hi Gwen
      How wonderful to hear another voice in the online wilderness! Your feelings are right on and very familiar – to me and to many I see. Change is hard, even when we have the commitment you clearly have.

      I applaud you!

Leave a Reply

Your email address will not be published. Required fields are marked *