In this new year of 2020, there is a tradition among some of reviewing their past year in order to see what they might do to make the new year better. What we did, what happened as a result, what was going on for us to make what happened happen; our dreams, how they came to fruition … or not, and the dream we have for this current year.
New Year’s resolutions can be past or future focused – how we want to correct what happened, or change what happened, or go in a new and hopefully better direction this year. I hear all the time about New Years’ resolutions that are doomed to fail – which is a good thing, because they are really instruments of self-flagellation: crash diets, working out till you drop, piling on the meant-to-feel-better-about-ourselves to-do items, that eventually get dropped because they are, in fact, impossible. Besides, I really don’t believe that any kind of self-imposed punishment ever results in something good, and never feels motivating enough to follow through on (in my personal experience).
But there is one New Years’ resolution that might work, and that is to commit to changing our story. This will probably involve spending time on looking at your story of 2019, but doing so with compassion for the person you had to be to be in that story. Then deciding what to let go of so that your 2020 story can be one of more beauty and joy.
It doesn’t have to be perfect, just better than last year’s. Changing something can happen in big leaps, but is more likely to really happen in small steps. (For those of you who get the newsletter version of this blog, watch the video to get a few really good ways of making those changes.)
Wishing you a joyful and hopeful 2020.
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Maryanne Nicholls is a Registered Psychotherapist. To find out more, gain access to her weekly newsletter, meditations and programmes, sign up at www.thejoyofliving.co