Everyone deserves the benefit of the doubt.
I really believe that everyone deserves this. When we get triggered or hurt by something someone says or does, it almost always helps to give them the benefit of the doubt long enough to explore what might be going on for them.
But all too often, it can be a way of avoiding our own inner confusion. For instance, if I get criticized for something, I might hold off saying anything because I’m not sure: I’m not sure if I missed something, or if I did something. I might be embarrassed for the person, or feel shamed by that person. And so I remain quiet, telling myself I’m giving the other person the benefit of the doubt.
A better way would be to pause and get curious about what the criticism was about, and why I feel embarrassed or ashamed. What motivated the person to criticize? Does it make any real sense? Did I miss something that would help in the future? Where might that person be coming from?
Approaching criticism in this way effectively puts me in the driver’s seat of my own reactions and my own life. Any self-doubt or confusion – along with any embarrassment or shame – melts away.
How to eliminate self-doubt forever
Quote of the Week
“Our doubts are traitors,
and make us lose the good we oft might win,
by fearing to attempt.”
– William Shakespeare, Measure for Measure
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Maryanne