Everything you need

Do you have everything you need? It’s a big question that I spent most of my life saying no to: No, I don’t have everything I need. I don’t have enough education, or experience, or money, … or better parents (😊). There was always something I felt I didn’t have that would – if only I had that thing – make all the difference.

My best friend’s mother knew how to coordinate her clothing. My mother’s taste in clothes was not something to dwell on. My best friend’s mother made my friend’s breakfast every morning. My mother gave me the cereal box.

Perhaps it would have made things better and easier to have my best friend’s mother as my mother. It might also have made things a lot worse. I see a lot of people who come from affluent homes, have a great education, lots of experience, and money … and who also don’t feel they have everything they need.

I sometimes think that not feeling you have everything you need, and not feeling you ever have enough time, go hand in hand. I think that because they did go hand in hand with me, and appear to be that way for others too. I think it has a lot to do with feeling I am simply not enough. Period. It really hasn’t got a lot to do with anything else.

Yes, education is good, experience is better, money helps, … and if you’re lucky enough to have 2 healthy happy well-adjusted parents who have had a great life and no issues to battle … well, you’re probably one out of several hundred thousand. At least!

For me, my real issue wasn’t that I was missing something. It was that I was focused on imaginary futures that required – always – something I didn’t happen to have. For me, I had to learn to make do with what I had, and learn to get creative. It wasn’t until after I began really listening to my mother, for instance, that I started appreciating how she could make something wonderful out of what she had on hand. In fact, one of her strengths was her frugality – she would consider it a sin to throw anything away or waste anything.

Once I began to set that as a goal – stay within the bounds of what I had on hand – my fear of not being enough began to evaporate. Eventually I learned that I really do have everything I need for what I need right now.

Three questions to ask yourself about everything you do – Stacey Abrams

Quote of the Week

All we have is all we need. All we need is the awareness of how blessed we really are.

― Sarah Ban Breathnach

Maryanne Nicholls is a Registered Psychotherapist. To find out more, gain access to her weekly newsletter, meditations and programmes, sign up at www.thejoyofliving.co .