Good feedback

I read a blog a few weeks ago titled Harsh Feedback. It reminded me of the many times I received feedback, often unasked for, that was hard to hear and digest.

I was once told by a teacher to stop typing notes so that I could be present for the meeting I was at. I was told that in person and openly. I remember feeling very put out and misunderstood. Later, though, I understood that the teacher did not feel my presence, even though I felt it. I still take notes, but I also make myself be present in a way that the speaker can feel it. I’ve become much more aware of my impact on others.

On another occasion with another person, I was told I was self-righteous. This, by someone I felt was herself self-righteous. What it helped me understand was how strong I can sound – how strident – and that this turns others off.

My husband lets me know when I’m becoming strident by ending whatever argument we’re having, or when he’s in a better frame of mind, by suggesting I tone things down a little. His feedback has helped me learn to recognize when I get wound up, so that I don’t need someone reminding me to tone things down.

These are three examples of feedback, 2 of them good and one not good. Even so, all three were worth listening to, because all three helped me grow.

It’s hard to hear criticism, and all but the last example of feedback could sound like criticism. But even if it is, there might be a nugget of truth in there that’s worth extracting. Feedback is always good if it helps us grow.

 

Quote of the Week

“Do not let arrogance go to your head and despair to your heart; do not let compliments go to your head and criticisms to your heart; do not let success go to your head and failure to your heart.”
― Roy T. Bennett, The Light in the Heart

 

Why is it worth listening to the people you disagree with?