I am a therapist who’s single aim is to help my clients empower themselves. Few of them complain about not getting any breaks and being unlucky, but many of them complain about being stuck. I used to complain about that too: I felt I’d tried everything I could possibly try, and still I’d end up reliving the same set of circumstances over and over.

One of the things I eventually discovered was that as long as I was completely focused on trying everything and getting unstuck, I wasn’t open to exploring the possibilities that surrounded me.

For example, when I met my husband I had been divorced for 10 years. Married 3 times and divorced 3 times, I had decided not to try again a fourth time. I’d given up. Thrown in the towel.

I couldn’t understand what went wrong – each of the three men I’d had in my life were very different from one another, I had worked at identifying and then changing any personal attitudes and behaviours that might have contributed to the break-ups. Still, in the end, these relationships failed, until I finally decided to stop trying for a long-term relationship, and focus instead on all the other great things in my life.

That’s when I met Andy. We dated for over 10 years before we considered marriage. Neither of us were in any hurry – it was actually outside circumstances that got us to consider it. Those outside factors were part of chance; we were already relaxed with each other and our circumstances, so when chance came along we were able to take advantage of it.

Andy and I haven’t regrated that mutual decision. We’re still married, still in love, and still open to possibility.

Creating luck for yourself