I had a friend reminisce today about the “good old days” of her youth, where nothing bothered her. She wanted that feeling back.
I heard that Canada’s borders will remain largely closed, wishing for more flexibility while agreeing that it’s best to remain cautions.
The prolonged shutdown of so much because of COVID-19 is wearing on everyone, fraying nerves. We all want it to end, and end up remembering the “good old days” of relative freedom.
I was reminded of a TV commercial I saw years ago: the actor was about to take a drink of pop, and as she lifted it to her lips, she had a flashback to a time where she was carefree, wishing things could be the same now. She was magically transported back to that time, where she was accosted not only with the good parts, but also with the not-so-good parts of that lifestyle. The parts that made her move on in life.
Right now, when we’re feeling isolated and anxious, the “good times” of the past begin to loom. But, just as with that TV commercial, it’s not the whole story. Our memory is built in a way that psychologists call positivity bias, privileging the recall of positive over negative memories. It not only recalls happy memories better, those memories are accompanied by the positive feelings that went with them. That’s because positive feelings linger longer in us.
It’s a survival thing – it’s why we don’t remember the pain of a toothache once it’s gone.
The bottom line is this: sometimes not reaching out is the best thing. Sometimes it’s better to take a moment and ask yourself if this is nostalgia, or real, by recalling the full context. To take a deep breath and allow yourself time to reflect.
Half a Million Secrets – something to do when you’re afraid you’ll reach out to your Ex
Quote of the Week
“No one knows for certain how much impact they have on the lives of other people. Oftentimes, we have no clue. Yet we push it just the same.”
― Jay Asher, Thirteen Reasons Why
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Maryanne Nicholls is a Registered Psychotherapist. To find out more, gain access to her weekly newsletter, meditations and programmes, sign up at www.thejoyofliving.co .