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I’m moving this year and I’m beginning to stress over it because I also have a number of other priorities that are – to me – equally important. My husband commented on my reactivity. I asked him what he’d do in a similar situation, to which he responded that he wouldn’t ever be in that situation because he would have stopped everything except the move until it was done.

That had never occurred to me. As a result I’m considering taking a week off during the final stage of the move.

It never occurred to me because I tend to pile things on. Even now, after years of witnessing the results, after years of learning better ways (the degree to which I pile things on has improved), after teaching others how to do things better, I still tend to fill my days. I always will.

Do you do this too? I do it because it’s exciting and engaging. It thrills me to be involved in a meaningful way in so many different ways.

But, I’ve learned that sometimes one thing needs to be focal if it’s to be done well. This is true for everything at some time or other. When the move gets close, I will have to drop everything else for a few weeks. When the conference I’m convening begins, nothing else will be happening for me. When I run a workshop, all my focus need to be on preparing for that workshop for at least 2 weeks.

Well, it’s fairly easy to see and understand when we’re wound up and doing too much, but much more difficult to stop it and switch gears. The way I’ve done it is to recognize that familiar feeling in my chest that tells me I’m beginning to do too much, then stop and breathe deeply until that sensation begins to dissipate. When that happens, what I need to do begins to clarify, and I’m calmer.

This is called self-regulating, when I know and respect my limits. When I remember to do this,  the job gets done, and done well. In that way, I’m not only respectful of what I do, but also respectful of my own limits, and of the time and effort of others.

I really feel like I’ve accomplished something worthwhile.


If you feel the need of an increase in your own self-regulation, check out my online course Restore Your Balance.


Why self-regulation may be more important than literacy

Quote of the Week

We are what we believe we are.

― C S Lewis