If there’s one thing that never changes, it’s change itself – everything changes, all the time.

I may be alone this, but I tend to cling to what I have – even clothes that are so old and full of mending I wouldn’t give them away. I do this because it feels comforting, and if I’m honest about it, it provides the illusion that at least some things aren’t changing, there are some things I can rely on that will always remain the same.

I know it’s an illusion – even those old favorites are changing, returning to their basic elements, and there’s nothing I can do to stop it, except to retreat into fantasy.

Even memories change: we’re wired to remember good things better and more vividly than hurtful ones. In fact, the condition of keeping old memories so fresh that they get replayed as if the’re happening in the present is called PTSD. There are experts who help us release these memories, putting them in the past where they belong, so that we can get on with living.

When I lose someone I cherish, when I move – even to a place I want to move to, I grieve that loss, not wanting to let it go. The loss of any relationship that means something to me is always hard; it can feel for a time as if nothing matters any longer. Years ago, I would feel that that sense of loss would never go away.

But it does go away, because what I lost gets replaced with new things and new relationships. And I change as well, in ways that invite more changes.

Everything changes – physical things, our bodies, places, our relationships, thoughts, memories … everything changes all the time!

We can’t ignore that. What we can do is to learn to shift our focus. To know, even if we can’t feel it yet, that there is always something that makes life full of meaning and wonder.

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The journey through loss and grief

Quote of the Week

Begin with loss and see how the world contradicts you,
How the horizon implies that beyond it
The water is not empty
But full of ships.”

― Lynn Emanuel


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