Tag Archive: being stuck

Personal Blocks

 

You’re home, and have been since Covid forced a layoff where you work.  That was 4 months ago. 2 months ago you were offered another job; you turned it down because, you told yourself, it was still too dangerous. At home, you’re going stir-crazy from boredom and no direction, and yet you still almost automatically turned down the job – without really discussing safe ways of making it happen. 2 days ago, it happened again, this time with less excuse, and you knew it was because you were scared and worried – not about getting sick (because you know how to keep yourself safe) but because you don’t know if you have what it takes: it’s been 4 months, after all, and you haven’t kept up.

That’s a block – a personal block. We all have them. We don’t like or want them. They usually make us feel at least less than powerful.

I don’t often experience my own blocks getting in my way anymore – at least, not strongly enough that they stop me in my tracks. I’ve spent years becoming aware of them and working through them. And yet, it still happens – it happened today.

We’ve all heard of writers’ block. Writers’ block can happen because of a personal block – perhaps freezing with the terror that you’ll never write something as good again as you did the last time. Personal blocks can be fear-based, but not always. They are, however, always based on our beliefs. My recent block was about both a belief and a fear – and that stopped me for a while.  I was afraid I wouldn’t measure up to the standards of others, or of myself; and I believed in standards that were actually unrealistic.

It took me a while to bring this into my awareness so that I could do something about it, and once there – in my awareness – I was able to replace that belief with something real and silence my fears of inadequacy.

This is what we all need to do to counter a personal block – bring it into awareness, see what’s really real and what isn’t, and replace the lie that stops us with a truth that moves us.

Personal blocks are coming up more and more, partly because we have less to distract us. And maybe that’s a good thing.

How your personal narrative limits your future

 

Quote of the Week 

My fear of endings too often blocks my hope of beginnings.”
― Craig D. Lounsbrough

Announcements 

Need more? At times we need more  – we know the logic, know what to do. And yet something is still blocking us.  I offer both one-on-one consultations and coaching packages.  For more information, visit my website www.thejoyofliving.co/services-and-programs or contact me directly at maryanne@thejoyofliving.co .

 

Maryanne Nicholls is a Registered Psychotherapist and Life Coach.  To find out more, gain access to her weekly newsletter, meditations and programmes, sign up at www.thejoyofliving.co.

Personal Blocks

 

You’re home, and have been since Covid forced a layoff where you work.  That was 4 months ago. 2 months ago you were offered another job; you turned it down because, you told yourself, it was still too dangerous. At home, you’re going stir-crazy from boredom and no direction, and yet you still almost automatically turned down the job – without really discussing safe ways of making it happen. 2 days ago, it happened again, this time with less excuse, and you knew it was because you were scared and worried – not about getting sick (because you know how to keep yourself safe) but because you don’t know if you have what it takes: it’s been 4 months, after all, and you haven’t kept up.

That’s a block – a personal block. We all have them. We don’t like or want them. They usually make us feel at least less than powerful.

I don’t often experience my own blocks getting in my way anymore – at least, not strongly enough that they stop me in my tracks. I’ve spent years becoming aware of them and working through them. And yet, it still happens – it happened today.

We’ve all heard of writers’ block. Writers’ block can happen because of a personal block – perhaps freezing with the terror that you’ll never write something as good again as you did the last time. Personal blocks can be fear-based, but not always. They are, however, always based on our beliefs. My recent block was about both a belief and a fear – and that stopped me for a while.  I was afraid I wouldn’t measure up to the standards of others, or of myself; and I believed in standards that were actually unrealistic.

It took me a while to bring this into my awareness so that I could do something about it, and once there – in my awareness – I was able to replace that belief with something real and silence my fears of inadequacy.

This is what we all need to do to counter a personal block – bring it into awareness, see what’s really real and what isn’t, and replace the lie that stops us with a truth that moves us.

Personal blocks are coming up more and more, partly because we have less to distract us. And maybe that’s a good thing.

 

Announcements 

If you like this blog, you’ll also like my newsletters. It’s written only for my insiders who sign up, and provides weekly insights, not only from me, but from others I admire.

To sign up  for my insider newsletter, click here. If you find it doesn’t work for you, all you have to do to unsubscribe is click on the link at the bottom of the newsletter.

Looking forward to welcoming you to my growing list of insiders!

Maryanne

 

Maryanne Nicholls is a Registered Psychotherapist.  To find out more, gain access to her weekly newsletter, meditations and programmes, sign up at www.thejoyofliving.co 

What I really know

really know

I was at my partner’s place last week. He was talking about what it would take to start a new business – he’s never had to do that, so it seemed like a black hole to him.  I knew exactly what he needed to do: the steps, the order … it was so clear, and I knew that if he followed these steps in that order, he’d be fine.

I didn’t know I knew so much because I can’t look at my own business the same way. I get stuck on things that seems so clear when I apply it to others. I don’t know what I was more dumbstruck from: that I knew so much, or that I didn’t know I knew so much.

After taking a few days to get used to this new discovery, I wondered why that happens and how I could use it to get unstuck.

That we can’t easily be impartial and objective toward our own passions isn’t something new.  But the thing is – I’m not impartial to what matters to my partner. I care deeply and want to help. It’s just that speaking for another person brings with it a responsibility for me to give my best. Is it that I don’t treat my own needs with that same sense?

Really, it’s more than that: when I give advice, I know it’s value because I know the expected outcome.  But when I try different approaches to running my own business, I don’t know the outcome. It’s this uncertainty that stops me. And scares me so much that I get stuck.

I tell myself that my situation isn’t exactly like his; that it’s unique; and that it therefore doesn’t follow the same principles.  Well, no situation anywhere is exactly like any other situation, and yet the vast majority of them do follow the same principles…

What I really know is this: I’m passionate about my business; and this means I’m afraid of doing something that will hurt my business. So I dither. But deep down, I also know that if I follow the same steps I gave my partner, in that order, I’ll be fine.

Just like him.

If you like this blog, you’ll love my newsletters “You are Enough Just as You Are” for a sample. It’s written only for my insiders who sign up, and provides weekly insights, not only from me, but from others I admire.

To sign up for my insider newsletter, click here.  If you find it doesn’t work for you, all you have to do to unsubscribe is click on the link at the bottom of the newsletter.

Looking forward to welcoming you to my growing list of insiders!

Maryanne Nicholls is a Registered Psychotherapist.  To find out more, gain access to her weekly newsletter, meditations and programmes, sign up at www.thejoyofliving.co .