Tag Archive: best

Plan for the worst, and expect the best

I am preparing for an event that is really important to me. It’s happening in 2 days.  I’ve been preparing for it for over a month – the script, the choreography, the support, the presentation, the materials. And lately also the mess-ups and last-minute re-arrangements.

Today, a few things happened that forced me to make different arrangements, and that put my schedule off.  One thing I’ve noticed and others have pointed out to me is that I habitually spend the few days before an event running around non-stop, until I fall into bed at around 3am.

Every time! No matter how much I’m prepared, I end up in a panic the 2 or 3 days before the long-planned event.

Why?

Because I lose perspective. I get wound up. I worry about anything I might have missed and that will surely show up and create a crisis. I plan for the worst, and expect the worst.  And, all I have to do to transform the built-up self-imposed stress into confident relaxation and preparedness is change the second part of that sentence:

Plan for the worst, and expect the best.

What reality are you creating for yourself?

 

Quote of the Week

Know that everything is in perfect order whether you understand it or not.”
― Valery Satterwhite

Announcement

Need more? At times we need more  – we know the logic, know what to do. And yet something is still blocking us.  I offer both one-on-one consultations and coaching packages.  For more information, visit my website www.thejoyofliving.co/services-and-programs or contact me directly at maryanne@thejoyofliving.co .

Maryanne Nicholls is a Registered Psychotherapist and Life Coach.  To find out more, gain access to her weekly newsletter, meditations and programmes, sign up atwww.thejoyofliving.co.

Plan for the worst, and expect the best

I am preparing for an event that is really important to me. It’s happening in 2 days.  I’ve been preparing for it for over a month – the script, the choreography, the support, the presentation, the materials. And lately also the mess-ups and last-minute re-arrangements.

Today, a few things happened that forced me to make different arrangements, and that put my schedule off.  One thing I’ve noticed and others have pointed out to me is that I habitually spend the few days before an event running around non-stop, until I fall into bed at around 3am.

Every time! No matter how much I’m prepared, I end up in a panic the 2 or 3 days before the long-planned event.

Why?

Because I lose perspective. I get wound up. I worry about anything I might have missed and that will surely show up and create a crisis. I plan for the worst, and expect the worst.  And, all I have to do to transform the built-up self-imposed stress into confident relaxation and preparedness is change the second part of that sentence:

Plan for the worst, and expect the best.

 

Announcements

If you like this blog, you’ll also like my newsletters. It’s written only for my insiders who sign up, and provides weekly insights, not only from me, but from others I admire.

To sign up for my insider newsletter, click here.  If you find it doesn’t work for you, all you have to do to unsubscribe is click on the link at the bottom of the newsletter.

Looking forward to welcoming you to my growing list of insiders!

Maryanne

 

Maryanne Nicholls is a Registered Psychotherapist.  To find out more, gain access to her weekly newsletter, meditations and programmes, sign up at www.thejoyofliving.co .

Bringing out the best of each other

 

There are many studies available that predict a longer and happier life if you are in a contented relationship. The biggest reason, it seems, is that this kind of relationship brings out the best in us because we feel supported, safe, and valued.

I’m in a healthy, supportive and loving relationship. My partner and I support each other in a number of ways:

  • We have a genuine regard for each other. One sure indicator that a relationship is over is if one partner feels contempt for the other. That feeling of contempt means that one is no longer open to seeing their partner in an intimate, connected way. And that means the relationship is over. Mutual regard can’t be forced, but is a bottom-line necessity for a healthy relationship.
  • We are genuinely interested in each other’s point of view, whether that point of view is different from each other’s or not. We want to know and appreciate both our similarities and our differences. It’s often the differences that enrich our lives. Without that, we can’t grow.
  • We support each other’s growth and development. This means that we feel free to criticize constructively, and to challenge each other. That kind of challenging can only happen when we trust that our partner cares about us and wants the best for us.
  • We support each other’s dreams. We know what those dreams are, and we help each other achieve them, rather than judge or compare their dreams to our own.
  • We tell each other the truth. No lies, not even white ones. You know when you’re being lied to, and you can trust that your partner does too. Ultimately, telling lies – or not speaking up when you should – undermines mutual trust in one another, and will eventually destroy intimacy.

The February, 2019 issue of Psychology Today has an article titled The Michelangelo Effect that speaks of the positive impact of our intimate friends, especially our partners. Well worth a look.

What you don’t know about marriage

 

 

Quote of the Week

When someone loves you, the way they talk about you is different. You feel safe and comfortable.”
― Jess C. Scott

Announcements

If you like this blog, you’ll also like my newsletters [link to latest newsletter that’s published in website ] for an sample]. It’s written only for my insiders who sign up, and provides weekly insights, not only from me, but from others I admire.

To sign up for my insider newsletter, click here.  If you find it doesn’t work for you, all you have to do to unsubscribe is click on the link at the bottom of the newsletter.

Looking forward to welcoming you to my growing list of insiders!

Maryanne

 

Maryanne Nicholls is a Registered Psychotherapist.  To find out more, gain access to her weekly newsletter, meditations and programmes, sign up at www.thejoyofliving.co .

Bringing out the best of each other

 

There are many studies available that predict a longer and happier life if you are in a contented relationship. The biggest reason, it seems, is that this kind of relationship brings out the best in us because we feel supported, safe, and valued.

I’m in a healthy, supportive and loving relationship. My partner and I support each other in a number of ways:

  • We have a genuine regard for each other. One sure indicator that a relationship is over is if one partner feels contempt for the other. That feeling of contempt means that one is no longer open to seeing their partner in an intimate, connected way. And that means the relationship is over. Mutual regard can’t be forced, but is a bottom-line necessity for a healthy relationship.
  • We are genuinely interested in each other’s point of view, whether that point of view is different from each other’s or not. We want to know and appreciate both our similarities and our differences. It’s often the differences that enrich our lives. Without that, we can’t grow.
  • We support each other’s growth and development. This means that we feel free to criticize constructively, and to challenge each other. That kind of challenging can only happen when we trust that our partner cares about us and wants the best for us.
  • We support each other’s dreams. We know what those dreams are, and we help each other achieve them, rather than judge or compare their dreams to our own.
  • We tell each other the truth. No lies, not even white ones. You know when you’re being lied to, and you can trust that your partner does too. Ultimately, telling lies – or not speaking up when you should – undermines mutual trust in one another, and will eventually destroy intimacy.

The February, 2019 issue of Psychology Today has an article titled The Michelangelo Effect that speaks of the positive impact of our intimate friends, especially our partners. Well worth a look.

 

Announcements

If you like this blog, you’ll also like my newsletters [link to latest newsletter that’s published in website ] for an sample]. It’s written only for my insiders who sign up, and provides weekly insights, not only from me, but from others I admire.

To sign up for my insider newsletter, click here.  If you find it doesn’t work for you, all you have to do to unsubscribe is click on the link at the bottom of the newsletter.

Looking forward to welcoming you to my growing list of insiders!

Maryanne

 

Maryanne Nicholls is a Registered Psychotherapist.  To find out more, gain access to her weekly newsletter, meditations and programmes, sign up at www.thejoyofliving.co .