Tag Archive: scarcity

Winning the Lottery

My partner and I have an ongoing joke that goes something like this: “When and if we get the funds, we should do X, Y, or Z”. It might be painting the house, or getting a desired medical elective treatment, or going on a long trip.  It could be anything we want to do and can’t at the moment, because we don’t have the funds to do it, just yet.

One of us almost always adds: “When you win the lottery …”. Always the other person. Always implying that we might never get those desired funds without what amounts to Divine Intervention.

Yes, someone does indeed eventually win the lottery. But given there are millions of others playing with you, and that there are millions of combinations of numbers to choose, it’s so unlikely that you’ll win that it gets close to amounting to Divine Intervention.

And yet, there is a tiny voice inside me that says: “I have as much chance as anybody. It has to be my turn now!”

As if there are ‘turns’, and that there is a universal ‘fairness’ that lets everyone win at least once. Even so, practically all of us (well, millions of us) automatically focus on the possibility of winning instead of the probability of losing, forgetting that it is a remote possibility against an almost certain probability.

It seems we are all optimists – and that is a really good thing. But what I’m also advocating is the injection of a certain amount of down-to-earthiness: if I even unconsciously count on getting a large amount of money to solve my financial woes, then I might spend as if that is imminently true. However, if I count only on what I know to be true – like, what I’m actually earning right now – then I’ll be a lot more frugal … and stand a bigger chance of having what I really need when I really need it.

Winning the lottery very likely won’t happen for us; winning in life can be almost certainly probable if we learn to care for ourselves emotionally, mentally, spiritually, and physically – including financially.

This blog is as much a reminder to myself as it is for anyone else. I hope it helps.

 

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Maryanne

 

Maryanne Nicholls is a Registered Psychotherapist.  To find out more, gain access to her weekly newsletter, meditations and programmes, sign up at www.thejoyofliving.co .

 

Living in abundance

 

This is a spin-off from Seth Godin’s blog Living in surplus. He compares living in deficit to living in surplus.  Another term for deficit is scarcity; and another term for surplus is abundance. I think in terms of scarcity and abundance.

Lots of us live in scarcity. Hording what you have in case you run out and can’t get more. Jamming too much into the day so that you’re running from one thing to the next. Focusing on being better than your neighbor for a position that seems rare to you.

Whether you really can’t get more of something if you run out, or believe that everything must be done today, or that that position you covet is as rare as you think, the attitude of scarcity keeps you in stress.

What if you tried to believe the opposite – that there is plenty of whatever you need; that only a few things really need doing immediately, and that whatever position you desire is there – in a form made just for you – whenever you’re ready to grab it.

More or less real than scarcity?  If more real, then the stress you’re putting yourself through every day is wasted.  If as real, then switching to an attitude of abundance won’t change things either way, but will make you less stressed – so that you can handle the day better. And for that reason, if less real, choosing the attitude of abundance just might even the odds.

Worth trying? I think so!

Abundance is our future

 

Quote of the Week
“Plant seeds of happiness, hope, success, and love; it will all come back to you in abundance. This is the law of nature.”
― Steve Maraboli

Announcements

Need more? At times we need more  – we know the logic, know what to do. And yet something is still blocking us.  I offer both one-on-one consultations and coaching packages.  For more information, visit my website www.thejoyofliving.co/services-and-programs or contact me directly at maryanne@thejoyofliving.co .

Maryanne Nicholls is a Registered Psychotherapist and Life Coach.  To find out more, gain access to her weekly newsletter, meditations and programmes, sign up at www.thejoyofliving.co.

 

 

Living in abundance

 

This is a spin-off from Seth Godin’s blog Living in surplus. He compares living in deficit to living in surplus.  Another term for deficit is scarcity; and another term for surplus is abundance. I think in terms of scarcity and abundance.

Lots of us live in scarcity. Hording what you have in case you run out and can’t get more. Jamming too much into the day so that you’re running from one thing to the next. Focusing on being better than your neighbor for a position that seems rare to you.

Whether you really can’t get more of something if you run out, or believe that everything must be done today, or that that position you covet is as rare as you think, the attitude of scarcity keeps you in stress.

What if you tried to believe the opposite – that there is plenty of whatever you need; that only a few things really need doing immediately, and that whatever position you desire is there – in a form made just for you – whenever you’re ready to grab it.

More or less real than scarcity?  If more real, then the stress you’re putting yourself through every day is wasted.  If as real, then switching to an attitude of abundance won’t change things either way, but will make you less stressed – so that you can handle the day better. And for that reason, if less real, choosing the attitude of abundance just might even the odds.

Worth trying? I think so!

Announcements

If you like this blog, you’ll also like my newsletters for a sample. It’s written only for my insiders who sign up, and provides weekly insights, not only from me, but from others I admire.

To sign up for my insider newsletter, click here .  If you find it doesn’t work for you, all you have to do to unsubscribe is click on the link at the bottom of the newsletter.

Looking forward to welcoming you to my growing list of insiders!

Maryanne

 

Maryanne Nicholls is a Registered Psychotherapist.  To find out more, gain access to her weekly newsletter, meditations and programmes, sign up at www.thejoyofliving.co .

 

 

Busting the myth of scarcity

I’m close to finishing my training with Martha Beck to transition from therapist to Life Coach.  I’ve discovered that there is very little difference between what she teaches and how I do therapy: she combines body/mind techniques to help people get unstuck, and then clarify and accomplish their goals.

I love it! And during the course of this adventure, I found there are people who have no coaching or therapy experience and are really starting out from scratch, others who have a great deal of life experience but are new to coaching, and still others – like me – who have a lot of life and professional experience in related areas.

One issue or question that keeps coming up for all of us (me included), regardless of experience, is how we are going to be successful as a coach when there are so many of us.  It’s the idea that there are only so many people who want or need coaching and a lot of coaches providing this service; it’s the idea – the myth – of scarcity.

It comes up in comments – stated or implied – like this: “She’s so good and I’m just starting out! How am I ever going to compete against her? I don’t have a chance, and might as well quit!”; or “God! As soon as I open my mouth about Martha Beck, people simply want to read her books! I feel like a walking advertisement for her, instead of doing anything for myself!”; or “Dam! We’re in the same network group! How can we both talk about coaching without getting in each other’s way?”

These are a small sample of the fears that go through the mind and bodies of most of us, and they are all – every one of them – myths, based solely on our own limiting beliefs, and not on the reality of the situation at all.  In reality, we live in a world filled with people who are looking for the kind of help coaches offer, and especially in this world of online access, our customer base is world-wide. There is more than enough work for everyone, and that happy fact means we can relax and focus on finding people who we work well with.

I’ve focused on coaching because that’s what I’m focused on anyway just now.  But this attitude of scarcity is everywhere. It might be that you work in a small office where only one person ever gets promoted – forgetting that there’s a whole world of other similar opportunities out there; or that you want to make and sell fragrant soaps, but notice that every flea market has hoards of soap sellers.  It doesn’t matter what you fear, the myth of scarcity can be examined, dismissed, and replaced with a belief that truly helps.

If you’re feeling anxious in this way, I’d like to offer the following to help you determine how much of that fear is real and how much is really based on a limiting belief (based on Byron Katie’s The Work).

  • Write it out. Begin writing everything you can about your feelings, fears and beliefs.  Don’t hold anything back – no one but you will ever see it, so get as down and dirty as you can.
  • Find the belief, or set of beliefs that all of this fear is based on. For instance, let’s take the “As soon as I open my mouth” example above: I might begin with writing about how unfair it all is, how no one wants to pay anything for value, always looking for the least expensive way – writing about my pain and fears until they are all out in the open, on paper. Eventually, I’ll begin to calm down and notice a pattern through my words.  It might be “I don’t really have anything to offer!” or “Deep down, I’ll never be good enough!”. The belief that we hold, deep down, is often something we would never say out loud, even to ourselves.
  • Challenge this belief.  Katie has a system she uses and teaches to challenge our beliefs, beginning with challenging the truth of the belief, then looking for examples of when it isn’t true. Then dives deeper, examining how believing it makes us feel (generally awful in some major way), and who we would be without that belief (generally good and even great).  Then as a final nail in the belief coffin, examines variations of the reverse or opposite of the belief, often revealing something significant about why we have that belief. Continuing with the example, “I don’t really have anything to offer”: it isn’t always true – there are many ways I have something of real value to offer – all of us have this. But when I let myself believe this, I feel small, defeated, worthless.  Without believing that I don’t have anything to offer, I’d feel fine – relaxed, engaged. Reversing the belief – I do have something to offer; My self-doubting mind doesn’t have anything to offer – shows me what really has to go (my self-doubt).
  • Replace the belief with C. We all have something valuable to offer, and that value comes from who we truly are, authentically. The more we question any belief that stops us, the more we can relax into the truly powerful self we are, in whatever space we’re in.

Now I’d love to hear from you about your own experiences, knowledge, opinions.  In the comments below, share one thing that you experienced as a mirror moment that changed your day, or even your life.

This newsletter is in three parts: the first part is my contribution; the second is a video I’ve found that relates to the topic in part 1; the third is a quote. I hope you enjoy the richness this brings to the topic of the week with all three parts.

 

Quote of the Week
If you think happiness is a rare bird you won’t see much of it. ― Marty Rubin

Announcements
At times we need more  – we know the logic, know what to do. And yet something is still blocking us. I offer both one-on-one consultations and coaching packages.  For more information, visit my website www.thejoyofliving.co/services-and-programs or contact me directly at maryanne@thejoyofliving.co