I’ve encountered a few personal issues lately that could, if I let them, stress me out. Dealt successfully with one yesterday, and dealing with the other today.
In the middle of all this, I recall a client asking me how she could help herself cope with a stressful living issue that she couldn’t immediately change. I am constantly learning from my clients, and thought I’d give what we jointly came up with a try.
What stresses me most is confrontation. I don’t like having someone’s finger pointed at me; I don’t like being judged and blamed. Hate it, in fact.
My immediate reaction is anger, even rage. And I don’t like feeling rage … I want the world and everyone in it to be fair, adult, and just.
Well, put that way, I can see that my desire is pure fantasy. Not that the real world is a dark place, but people – me included – can be unfair, dishonest in ways that fool even them, and definitely judgmental.
So, following the advice of that long ago collaboration, here’s what I did:
- I acknowledged my pain – my worry, my anger and rage – as legitimate and real. I do this because it’s easy for me to discount my own feelings.
- Then, I deliberately altered my perspective by taking deep and anchoring breaths, and thinking about all the good things in my life. Those good things make anything else that happens seem a lot less focal. This exercise effectively puts things into perspective for me – and that’s a good place to be.
- And now I have a better chance of dealing with the latest issue – even-handedly and with good perspective.
No magic wand. No clever trick. Just self-acknowledgment, making space, and upping my perspective.
Marie Forleo – Stress
Burning the Candle?
If you’re someone who feels like you’re burning up and burning out – from too much ongoing stress, from too much responsibility and too little recognition, or simply from wanting to have everything done Now!, then you might be interested in my online programBURNING THE CANDLE AT BOTH ENDS.
Quote of the Week
― David Mamet, Boston Marriage