I didn’t say that… I wish I had. Seth Godin said it. It’s sometimes referred to as the content for smallalk. In gestalt terminology, it’s material for the cliché layer of connection.

Smalltalk is the thing we do when we meet someone new. It’s always the first thing I do when I see a client. It’s almost always the first thing I do when I greet a loved one or friend. It’s the necessary warm-up to connection.

How are you? What do you do for fun? I notice X about you, I’m wondering Y… nothing deep, but something that might be of interest to them and to you.

Then, when everyone relaxes, the deeper conversation can begin. As the speaker in the ted talk attached says, the idea is to use the small to get to the big. In fact, when I think of it, the only time I don’t begin with trivia, or small talk, is when there’s a critical situation, or when I’m triggered.

Trivia isn’t trivial. It’s the beginning of meaningful connection. And for that reason, it’s a worthy skill to pick up.

How to engage in better small talk