The trouble with wanting something so badly when you depend on others

wanting something

Have you ever wanted something so badly you’re prepared to do whatever it takes to get it?  I have. Many, many times.

I don’t mean robbing a bank or selling your body.  We all have limits, even with this. But at times I sometimes find I’m relying on others to help me out. Not in a good way!

A good way might be: doing some necessary work for what I want and getting duly compensated; or taking what I offer because they really like and want it.

A not-good way might be: doing something for me because I talked them into it and wore them down; or promised them something that wasn’t justified; or relied on some need they have to manipulate them into supporting me.

Those last examples are all co-dependent, and enmesh me and anyone who involves themselves in it. In the end, even if it works this time, I don’t feel so fantastic.

Well, I wanted something this badly a week ago, and asked somene I thought loved this sort of thing if they wanted to be a part of it.  She said she did and I got going.  But I was always uneasy: even though she said yes, my gut just didn’t believe it. What I’d done to prepare depended on her showing up, so I was stuck with it regardless.

Fortunately for me, I did something that attracted others – something new for me – because I wanted this to happen that badly. I found them.

Glory haleluyeh! I did it!

Next time, when I get that gut feeling, I’ll pay more attention to it, appreciating what I really know.


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Maryanne Nicholls is a Registered Psychotherapist.  To find out more, gain access to her weekly newsletter, meditations and programmes, sign up at .


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