When I believe something is obvious, I wonder why my neighbour can’t seem to see it. I’ve heard this a lot over the US election and over the issue of wearing masks. I’ve found myself thinking it.
While it’s tempting to dismiss the other person sometimes, if I do that, I am missing a chance to connect and really understand why my neighbour believes what she does. It isn’t because she’s stupid, but if it seems to defy reason, it probably is about something deeply felt by her.
I’m not immune to emotional reasoning – to believing something that doesn’t really make sense: when a friend does something harmful, I might talk myself into believing there must be a good reason for it, even in the face of overwhelming evidence to the contrary.
So, how can I accuse my neighbour of thoughtlessness?
So much better to try and understand what she’s feeling … and to understand what I’m possibly hiding from myself by that accusation.