Control. Obviously it isn’t practiced by everyone. We all have our limits, for some- those limits are miles apart. For others, the limits are inches apart. We all have places we have to be, or people we have to be with, that requires us to have tact and stay within our limits, regardless if they are miles or inches apart, when it comes to anger. So, how do we tame our inner dragons? Easy. We first have to admit that our reaction to every situation is completely our fault. We may not be able to control the situation, but we do control how we mentally and physically respond to each and every situation.
Anger is usually depression in hiding. Someone does something that irritates you. Your response is to go off of the rails and get mad. But are you really mad? Is your anger really frustration that is masking deep seeded depression? Are the frustrated and sad feelings simply building up to the point where you can’t take it anymore and then you explode? Addressing why we are having emotions, especially rage and anger, can help us understand and then control responses.
It is not unusual for people to be depressed about their line of work. Workers tend to feel more and more powerless to make changes, often because they fear losing their job, and that lack of power can lead to depression. The depression leads to frustration and then the dragon starts to grow until one day – you either quit your job or become so angry or upset that you’re fired because of it. This is a pretty common scenario. In order to avoid this, having a talk with your supervisor about not having power AKA more responsibility is important. We don’t often talk about our feelings at work, but I think this is a huge mistake. You can professionally address an issue without putting yourself in a vulnerable place at work. Presentation of these feelings is key and – remember- keep it professional. Do not go to your boss to talk about depression caused by issues at home, there are other resources for that. You want to talk about your feelings as an employee and what you would like to see happen with your role at the company.
When taming your inner dragon, self-empowerment, learning to speak out in ways that help instead of hinder, taking a hawk’s view – seeing the bigger picture and all the details so that we come from a considerate place, and learning to recognize the signs of inner rage are all important aspects to consider and practice. We need to express our feelings and develop a plan for dealing with them both personally and professionally, otherwise our dragon come out and all that bottled up sadness, anger and frustration breathes fire in an unproductive way.
Want to learn more? I offer self-guided virtual help and one-on-one counseling. Don’t hesitate to contact me to ask about both options. I also offer a great virtual and in-person session on how to deal with our inner dragons at work. Corporate speaking rates are available upon request.