Unseen Connections: The Role of Feedback in Human Visibility

I was moved to write about human visibility today, when I came across a quote from Virginia Woolf from her novel A ROOM OF ONE’S OWN: For there is a spot the size of a shilling at the back of the head which one can never see for oneself.

It was likely because I had only recently said something abruptly to another person without knowing it, until a colleague pointed out the impact it had on her as an observer. Interestingly, I’d done the same service to another colleague a day earlier.

We all need that kind of visibility as humans. We all need a friend or colleague help us know our impact on others, because for most of us, we have no real idea otherwise. Hopefully that observer will be kind and empathetic about telling us. Often they aren’t. Either way, it’s a valuable service.

Human visibility. I don’t think it’s a term coined anywhere, and yet this need for feedback is a human need. Without it, we can’t fully know how we connect or miss connecting with others in our lives.

I want to know how I connect and miss it unawares, and I welcome this kind of feedback from others.

Quote of the Week

t is an absolute human certainty that no one can know his own beauty or perceive a sense of his own worth until it has been reflected back to him in the mirror of another loving, caring human being. - John Joseph Powell

How My Mind Came Back to Life — and No One Knew | Martin Pistorius

Maryanne Nicholls is a Registered Psychotherapist.  To find out more, gain access to her weekly newsletter, meditations and programmes, sign up at www.thejoyofliving.co .