Crossing the Line: Understanding Boundaries and Bottom Lines
The other day, a dear friend and colleague of mine was accused of being unprofessional without any real data to back it up. My friend was upset enough to sever ties with that person.
Why? She did it because the accuser crossed a bottom line by questioning my friend’s professional competence.
I’ve written and spoken a lot about boundaries lately (stay tuned for my mini-series on boundaries in my YouTube channel next month). In this blog, I want to zero in on limits, or what I call bottom lines.
Boundaries are the values we have that guide our lives. They are rules we live by on a daily basis, setting limits to what we engage in and to what extent. Healthy boundaries are flexible, bending to changing circumstances, but never breaking. We can negotiate the extent of our boundaries on any given day and in any given situation.
Limits, on the other hand, aren’t flexible. They can represent our personal bottom lines, which have to do with what we hold dear ethically. They can also represent our physical limits, such as how well you can see or hear. They’re inflexible because in very real ways our lives in terms of living well and healthy depend on us respecting and maintaining them.
Healthy boundaries support resilience. Healthy limits support self-respect and safety.
Quote of the Week
Once you’re clear on what your bottom line is, you have to be willing to walk away.
Chris Voss