Beyond Intelligence: The Value of Emotional Awareness
I listened to an interview with David Brooks recently. It was on what he terms elite meritocracy. He was contrasting our current educational system of requiring high mental intelligence with other kinds of living, and finding that our dependence on intelligence as defined by high IQ or SAT scores is not getting us to any sense of collective happiness or fulfillment, but is instead separating us into a kind of 2-caste system: those who have the financial and social means of getting support in acquiring the needed scores to enter elite institutes of higher learning, and then go on to enjoy benefits that the rest aren’t able to enjoy, and those of us who do not have the means to do this. The divide is becoming greater and the community as a whole increasingly unhappy and stressed.
So much is being said and reviewed to try an explain the results of the latest US election. How who he terms “the elites” in the Democratic party were not able to see what was happening, and how totally alienated so many voters were from them: enough to cause that party to lose.
David Brooks believes it’s largely due to the left-leaning groups having no connection and empathy for what the other groups of people are experiencing: a cost of living that is unsustainable, little to no chance of getting the kind of opportunities open to those others. For the majority, life is a struggle that never seems to let up. And yet, what most people want in life is a chance at living well within their means, to be able to support their families and communities, and to work towards a future they can feel good about.
In The Hour Between Dog and Wolf, John Coates, a neuroscientist talks about how and why he studied the stock traders who won and lost during stock market crashes. He discovered that those who followed what their body were telling them were able to move stocks and not lose their shirts, as all the others did. These traders noticed their heart rate increasing and that they were constantly stressed, even if all around them were assuring each other that all was well. From this, he theorised that the mind was built for motion and not problem-solving, for following and acting on what our bodies tell us.
I mention this because our culture teaches and praises the opposite: we teach our children to ignore what our bodies tell us in favor of what our mind dictates. But our mind is filled with rules learned from our teachers, and sometimes those rules don’t work. We are taught and encouraged to solve problems with our rules-based mind, and not with our values-based bodies.
As a therapist and coach, I spend most of my time helping people unlearn that dependence on mind and relearn to recognize and honour their value system that is felt physically. Their mind works best in service to their value-system. But first we need to know what that is, and how we become aware of it.
There is something more valuable than high IQ, and that is integrity to what we value and hope for. I’ve seen time and again how transformative it is for people to get that. Their face is calmer and more alive. They become less stressed and more focused on what really matters.
In my lifetime, my hope is that I see a reversal of reliance on mental acuity to one of emotional and spiritual awareness. By “spiritual” I am not referring necessarily to any religious practice, but to an acknowledgment and following of our own values that inspire us to move with our minds.
Quote of the week
If you’re a subscriber to certain Eastern religions, or to Stoicism, the emphasis [is] on dispatching or reducing your desires so you can have tranquility ... My family is an immigration family, and we don’t want happiness. We want intensity. I am happiest when my life is being directed by a controlling purpose, and as Vincent Van Goch said ‘I am in it with all my heart’
David Brooks
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Maryanne Nicholls is a Registered Psychotherapist. To find out more, gain access to her weekly newsletter, meditations and programmes, sign up at www.thejoyofliving.co .