Sugar and Spice

A dear friend had a dream a few weeks ago. It wasn’t much of a dream: it was an image actually, of a large soup bowl filled to the brim. Exactly half of the bowl was filled with a nourishing soup, while the other half was filled with Crème Brule. The soup and sweet weren’t intermixing or ruining one another. They simply occupied half of the brimming bowl each.

So different from my friend’s life. Her life is work. She loves work. She thrives working. It’s very nourishing. But, desert is rarely part of her life. Not in any form.

As it happens, my friend loves Crème Brule. She loves any custard. She simply rarely eats it.

That dream seemed to be telling her a few things she really needed to take in. First and pretty clearly, even though work nourished her life, it didn’t balance out. What she needed in equal portion, was pleasure. In fact, her dream was strongly suggesting that her need for pleasure was not an option.

But second, she thinks it was also saying something about why she loved her work so much. Not because of her middle class mid-western cultural background, where hard work is considered godly. She loves her work because it makes her feel great. You might say it’s physically and intellectually delicious. You might even say it’s because of all the added spices that enhance what she does every day. If you’ve ever read or watched Babette’s Feast, you’ll know what I mean.

Then lastly, without the Crème Brule, the bowl of soup would only be half full. Still nourishing. Still delicious. But not enough. That filled large bowl of soup, my friend believes, represents abundance. Without both, abundance and balance aren’t possible.

If you’re wondering what she did because of her dream, I can tell you that she began to pay attention to what she forced herself to do because it was the “right thing” rather than the abundant thing for her. Then she began to change.

Quote of the week

Don’t confuse having a career with having a life.

• Hillary Clinton

What is: Abundance and the subtraction of choice

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Maryanne Nicholls is a Registered Psychotherapist.  To find out more, gain access to her weekly newsletter, meditations and programmes, sign up at www.thejoyofliving.co .