I woke at around 2am: wide awake and feeling ‘perfectly fine’. I just couldn’t get back to sleep. This isn’t very common for me anymore, but it still happens. When I wake like that, it’s because something is worrying me and it isn’t something in my awareness. I’ve learned to suppress my anxiety very well so that it often only rises up like that in the middle of the night.
This is helpful because it gives me a chance to discover what I’m worrying about and deal with it before the day begins. What used to happen is that I’d wake worrying. That worrying would colour my entire day: I’d be irritable, restless, easily annoyed, able and ready to find someone else to blame. I’d be miserable and a misery to be around.
Knowing that whatever is worrying me is my internal issue and nobody else’s has turned my life, and my approach towards life, around full circle, because my focus is different. When I’m focused on worry, I notice things that feed my anxiety. When I’m focused on what feeds my spirit, I notice the beauty around me.
It’s where it all begins.
Quote of the Week
“You can build the life you want, starting inside with your emotions, and then turning outward to your family, friendships, work and spiritual life.”
– Arthur C Brooks
Know your inner saboteurs
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