Four years ago, I got this great idea about putting together something that laid out all the parts of how stress impacts us, and all the ways we could turn that around. I was consumed by it, spending all my waking (and some dreaming) hours working on this. Andy – my partner then, now my husband – was worried about me and my total tunnel vision. I’m glad he managed to stay through it.
At the time, that was my next big thing. While I don’t at all regret doing it, I do wonder at my all-out focus on things that catch my attention. I’ve always been like that. And, I believe that it’s natural for me, and for people like me. It’s part of who we are. But, there are better and worse ways of working with our energetic bursts.
To make this work for me and my continued health, I had to learn to distinguish between actually good ideas generated by my passions and ideas generated by fear and anxiety. Both feel urgent and spur me on to focused action without thinking.
I’ve learned to notice a subtle energetic difference between the two kinds of ideas. Those generated by fear and anxiety must be done Now!, even though they come at a time when I’m worried about something else, or in pain over a loss, or overwhelmed and feel helpless. It’s a way for me to take some control of my life, even if I have no control in other areas.
This is what I do to determine whether the idea is based on passion or fear: I take a breath first, then I look at what I feel is urgent against what I know is important. It really doesn’t take long to figure it out.
Must I get some favored item that’s on sale across town today at the risk of missing a deadline on a project that’s hard for me to complete? Maybe a walk to the local coffee shop would make more sense. That walk would get me away from the difficult project for a short while and I wouldn’t be risking the project.
Next time you go for that next big, urgent thing, take a moment first.
Quote of the Week
“Though the urge to hurry was beginning to beat through my brain, I knew that was the one thing I couldn’t do. Not of I wanted to save lives.”
― Keri Arthur, Full Moon Rising
How to stay calm when you know you’ll be stressed
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