Archive: Holistic Health

Waking up

 

I want my business to be really successful. I want the relationship I have with my partner to be fulfilling and loving. I want my family and friends to be happy and feel fulfilled in their lives. I want good health for myself and my friends and family.

I want so much. I want it all! Don’t you?

My mother’s favorite command to me growing up was “Maryanne, come down to earth!” Until many years later, I honestly didn’t see the problem with never “coming down to earth”. It felt so good – dreaming, planning, seeing all the possibilities.

Until many years later, I didn’t really see that none of those dreams and plans and visions I held so dearly had a hope of becoming real unless … . Unless I woke up to reality – to the actual situation I happened to be in, to my own life circumstances, to my responsibilities. Until I seriously considered  all the variables – my hopes and desires – Yes! – and also my own limitations and the limitations of the situation.

When I finally woke up, I began to modify my plans to include what was doable for me at that time. I stopped jamming in as much as I thought I could do, instead focusing on one small chunk at a time, and developing from that more realistic timelines and goals.

When I finally woke up, I started to relax, to regain my health, and to enjoy the world around me.

What about you? Are you a dreamer like me?

Embracing our limitations

Quote of the Week

Beyond living and dreaming there is something more important: waking up.”
― Antonio Machado

Announcements 

Need more? At times we need more  – we know the logic, know what to do. And yet something is still blocking us.  I offer both one-on-one consultations and coaching packages.  For more information, visit my website www.thejoyofliving.co/services-and-programs or contact me directly at maryanne@thejoyofliving.co .

Maryanne Nicholls is a Registered Psychotherapist and Life Coach.  To find out more, gain access to her weekly newsletter, meditations and programmes, sign up atwww.thejoyofliving.co.

Waking up

 

I want my business to be really successful. I want the relationship I have with my partner to be fulfilling and loving. I want my family and friends to be happy and feel fulfilled in their lives. I want good health for myself and my friends and family.

I want so much. I want it all! Don’t you?

My mother’s favorite command to me growing up was “Maryanne, come down to earth!” Until many years later, I honestly didn’t see the problem with never “coming down to earth”. It felt so good – dreaming, planning, seeing all the possibilities.

Until many years later, I didn’t really see that none of those dreams and plans and visions I held so dearly had a hope of becoming real unless … . Unless I woke up to reality – to the actual situation I happened to be in, to my own life circumstances, to my responsibilities. Until I seriously considered  all the variables – my hopes and desires – Yes! – and also my own limitations and the limitations of the situation.

When I finally woke up, I began to modify my plans to include what was doable for me at that time. I stopped jamming in as much as I thought I could do, instead focusing on one small chunk at a time, and developing from that more realistic timelines and goals.

When I finally woke up, I started to relax, to regain my health, and to enjoy the world around me.

What about you? Are you a dreamer like me?

Announcements 

If you like this blog, you’ll also like my newsletters for an sample. It’s written only for my insiders who sign up, and provides weekly insights, not only from me, but from others I admire.

To sign up  for my insider newsletter, click here.  If you find it doesn’t work for you, all you have to do to unsubscribe is click on the link at the bottom of the newsletter.

Looking forward to welcoming you to my growing list of insiders!

Maryanne

 

Maryanne Nicholls is a Registered Psychotherapist.  To find out more, gain access to her weekly newsletter, meditations and programmes, sign up at www.thejoyofliving.co .

I want to be happy

I really want to be happy! Don’t I? Then why do I find myself doing things that others want but that I don’t want? Why do I keep hurting myself doing things and reaching for goals that ceased to bring me pleasure long ago?

Do I really want to be happy? I do! But I also want fulfillment, and my mid-Western Baptist upbringing has told me all my life that there is no gain without pain. The way my brain extrapolates this is: the more pain, the greater gain.

Of course that extrapolation isn’t true. If it were true, then self-harm would be a virtue. And I don’t believe that. Yet I still find myself unconsciously expecting – and feeling satisfied with – experiencing pain for emotional and spiritual gain. It’s very true that we sometimes need to go through hard times to gain something valuable to us. Building our own business, having a baby, running a marathon. But not always. And not necessarily.

I’ve discovered that when I find myself making things more difficult than they need to be, it’s really because I’m scared that if I don’t add the pain, it will come on its own in a way that I can’t control. So in some form of magical thinking, I deliberately add the pain component – as insurance.

The key to changing that magical thinking is awareness, then changing it bit by bit, tiny step after tiny step, so that one day I wake up to a day that is effortlessly happy.

It does take time and it works.

Why we need pain to feel happiness

Quote of the Week 

The marks humans leave are too often scars.”
― John Green, The Fault in Our Stars

 

Announcements 

Need more? At times we need more  – we know the logic, know what to do. And yet something is still blocking us.  I offer both one-on-one consultations and coaching packages.  For more information, visit my website www.thejoyofliving.co/services-and-programs or contact me directly at maryanne@thejoyofliving.co . Maryanne Nicholls is a Registered Psychotherapist and Life Coach.  To find out more, gain access to her weekly newsletter, meditations and programmes, sign up at www.thejoyofliving.co .

 

Maryanne Nicholls is a Registered Psychotherapist.  To find out more, gain access to her weekly newsletter, meditations and programmes, sign up at www.thejoyofliving.co .

I want to be happy

I really want to be happy! Don’t I? Then why do I find myself doing things that others want but that I don’t want? Why do I keep hurting myself doing things and reaching for goals that ceased to bring me pleasure long ago?

Do I really want to be happy? I do! But I also want fulfillment, and my mid-Western Baptist upbringing has told me all my life that there is no gain without pain. The way my brain extrapolates this is: the more pain, the greater gain.

Of course that extrapolation isn’t true. If it were true, then self-harm would be a virtue. And I don’t believe that. Yet I still find myself unconsciously expecting – and feeling satisfied with – experiencing pain for emotional and spiritual gain. It’s very true that we sometimes need to go through hard times to gain something valuable to us. Building our own business, having a baby, running a marathon. But not always. And not necessarily.

I’ve discovered that when I find myself making things more difficult than they need to be, it’s really because I’m scared that if I don’t add the pain, it will come on its own in a way that I can’t control. So in some form of magical thinking, I deliberately add the pain component – as insurance.

The key to changing that magical thinking is awareness, then changing it bit by bit, tiny step after tiny step, so that one day I wake up to a day that is effortlessly happy.

It does take time and it works.

Announcements 

If you like this blog, you’ll also like my newsletters for a sample. It’s written only for my insiders who sign up, and provides weekly insights, not only from me, but from others I admire.

To sign up  for my insider newsletter, click here .  If you find it doesn’t work for you, all you have to do to unsubscribe is click on the link at the bottom of the newsletter.

Looking forward to welcoming you to my growing list of insiders!

Maryanne

 

Maryanne Nicholls is a Registered Psychotherapist.  To find out more, gain access to her weekly newsletter, meditations and programmes, sign up at www.thejoyofliving.co .

Our Beautiful Brain

Years ago, the scientific community discovered that our left and right brains function differently. This idea quickly became a favorite of pop psychology – so much so that for many years, scientists wanted little to do with any research involving it.  However, some scientists still loved it. One such scientist is Ian McGilchrist, author of The Master and His Emissary, where he discusses the differences between the two, and the fact that we need both.

What he discovered in his own studies and research is that the 2 sides do not do different things, but do the same things differently. Our left brain focuses on what’s immediately in front of it. It’s the calculator and detail-oriented part.  The right, on the other hand, sees the big picture, and understands connections.

With our right brain, we can appreciate different points of view, be moved by a beautiful sunset, or a beautiful piece of music. With the left brain, we can solve detailed problems.

McGilchrist is also a psychiatrist, and believes that our world prizes primarily left brain functions.  For instance, left brain views are always slightly paranoid because it can never see the big picture. It needs security and predictability. It sees only in black and white. It’s the right brain that can discern nuances, and be open to exploring something that is as yet unpredictable.

Our world could do with more right brain appreciation, and a real appreciation that both our left desire for details and action, and our right need for art and love, are essential for a full and balanced world.

My Stroke of Insight

 

Quote of the Week

The television is ‘real’. It is immediate, it has dimension. It tells you what to think and blasts it in. It must be right. It seems so right. It rushes you on so quickly to its own conclusions your mind hasn’t time to protest, ‘What nonsense!’.”
― Ray Bradbury, Fahrenheit 451

Announcements

Need more? At times we need more  – we know the logic, know what to do. And yet something is still blocking us.  I offer both one-on-one consultations and coaching packages.  For more information, visit my website www.thejoyofliving.co/services-and-programs or contact me directly at maryanne@thejoyofliving.co .

Maryanne Nicholls is a Registered Psychotherapist and Life Coach.  To find out more, gain access to her weekly newsletter, meditations and programmes, sign up atwww.thejoyofliving.co.

 

Our Beautiful Brain

Years ago, the scientific community discovered that our left and right brains function differently. This idea quickly became a favorite of pop psychology – so much so that for many years, scientists wanted little to do with any research involving it.  However, some scientists still loved it. One such scientist is Ian McGilchrist, author of The Master and His Emissary, where he discusses the differences between the two, and the fact that we need both.

What he discovered in his own studies and research is that the 2 sides do not do different things, but do the same things differently. Our left brain focuses on what’s immediately in front of it. It’s the calculator and detail-oriented part.  The right, on the other hand, sees the big picture, and understands connections.

With our right brain, we can appreciate different points of view, be moved by a beautiful sunset, or a beautiful piece of music. With the left brain, we can solve detailed problems.

McGilchrist is also a psychiatrist, and believes that our world prizes primarily left brain functions.  For instance, left brain views are always slightly paranoid because it can never see the big picture. It needs security and predictability. It sees only in black and white. It’s the right brain that can discern nuances, and be open to exploring something that is as yet unpredictable.

Our world could do with more right brain appreciation, and a real appreciation that both our left desire for details and action, and our right need for art and love, are essential for a full and balanced world.

 

Announcements

If you like this blog, you’ll also like my newsletters. It’s written only for my insiders who sign up, and provides weekly insights, not only from me, but from others I admire.

To sign up for my insider newsletter, click here.  If you find it doesn’t work for you, all you have to do to unsubscribe is click on the link at the bottom of the newsletter.

Looking forward to welcoming you to my growing list of insiders!

Maryanne

 

Maryanne Nicholls is a Registered Psychotherapist.  To find out more, gain access to her weekly newsletter, meditations and programmes, sign up at www.thejoyofliving.co .

 

Here and Now – what it means

“Here and now” – I hear and read it all over; in yoga magazines, on websites, in health-related talks. Everywhere! And yet, it isn’t new; it’s been around for a long time, perhaps a really long time.  I first heard it when I was a student learning to be a yoga teacher, and then a gestalt therapist.

In gestalt therapy, it’s what we do as a therapist, helping our clients focus on what is present in their lives in the moment, instead of what they judge to be happening based on past unresolved experiences.

One part of our training is that we first learn about our own blocks. It’s part of what is termed the “Safe and Effective Use of Self”, or SEUS for short, and it involves clearing up our own unfinished business, learning the signs, and knowing how not to bring that into the therapy room.

For me, the whole point of therapy is to help a person be fluid in the present, unhindered by something that is making them rigid and unresponsive to their world. For instance – and I’ll use myself in this example – a few weeks ago, I was getting ready for a presentation that was really important to me. Usually, when I get ready, I write something out and then practice, practice, practice. Yes, it’s always a lot of work, but writing comes easy for me. Not this time.  For some reason, I kept getting stuck. When I finally stopped to examine what the problem was, I discovered that I was really scared that I’d picked the wrong topic, and that the whole thing would be ruined. It was too late to change the topic – I’d already announced it all over the place. The only thing to do was to forge ahead.

But that did it for me. Every time I’d allow the thought “What if this topic is all wrong!” to creep in, I’d be stopped. My solar plexus would seize up, my throat would go dry, and all those words and concepts and stories I’d memorized would disappear. Worrying put me in my head, imagining past disasters, and I lost all presence and connection to what and who was around me.

I got through the presentation, and it was well received.  But one piece of feedback I received was that the flow wasn’t there as it usually is. The reason was because of that inner battle I fought right up to the day before.

Yes – the day before. Because I’ve learned a valuable technique: no matter what, when I’ve done whatever I can to properly prepare, then I relax and trust the process, so that I’m free to be present for my audience or my client.

That’s my way of being here and now for others. What’s yours?

Alan Watts – Being completely Here and Now

Quote of the Week
“Wherever you are, be there. If you can be fully present now, you’ll know what it means to live.”
― Steve Goodier

Announcements

Need more? At times we need more  – we know the logic, know what to do. And yet something is still blocking us.  I offer both one-on-one consultations and coaching packages.  For more information, visit my website www.thejoyofliving.co/services-and-programs or contact me directly at maryanne@thejoyofliving.co .

Maryanne Nicholls is a Registered Psychotherapist and Life Coach.  To find out more, gain access to her weekly newsletter, meditations and programmes, sign up at www.thejoyofliving.co.

Here and Now – what it means

“Here and now” – I hear and read it all over; in yoga magazines, on websites, in health-related talks. Everywhere! And yet, it isn’t new; it’s been around for a long time, perhaps a really long time.  I first heard it when I was a student learning to be a yoga teacher, and then a gestalt therapist.

In gestalt therapy, it’s what we do as a therapist, helping our clients focus on what is present in their lives in the moment, instead of what they judge to be happening based on past unresolved experiences.

One part of our training is that we first learn about our own blocks. It’s part of what is termed the “Safe and Effective Use of Self”, or SEUS for short, and it involves clearing up our own unfinished business, learning the signs, and knowing how not to bring that into the therapy room.

For me, the whole point of therapy is to help a person be fluid in the present, unhindered by something that is making them rigid and unresponsive to their world. For instance – and I’ll use myself in this example – a few weeks ago, I was getting ready for a presentation that was really important to me. Usually, when I get ready, I write something out and then practice, practice, practice. Yes, it’s always a lot of work, but writing comes easy for me. Not this time.  For some reason, I kept getting stuck. When I finally stopped to examine what the problem was, I discovered that I was really scared that I’d picked the wrong topic, and that the whole thing would be ruined. It was too late to change the topic – I’d already announced it all over the place. The only thing to do was to forge ahead.

But that did it for me. Every time I’d allow the thought “What if this topic is all wrong!” to creep in, I’d be stopped. My solar plexus would seize up, my throat would go dry, and all those words and concepts and stories I’d memorized would disappear. Worrying put me in my head, imagining past disasters, and I lost all presence and connection to what and who was around me.

I got through the presentation, and it was well received.  But one piece of feedback I received was that the flow wasn’t there as it usually is. The reason was because of that inner battle I fought right up to the day before.

Yes – the day before. Because I’ve learned a valuable technique: no matter what, when I’ve done whatever I can to properly prepare, then I relax and trust the process, so that I’m free to be present for my audience or my client.

That’s my way of being here and now for others. What’s yours?

Announcements

If you like this blog, you’ll also like my newsletters It’s written only for my insiders who sign up, and provides weekly insights, not only from me, but from others I admire.

To sign up  for my insider newsletter, click here.  If you find it doesn’t work for you, all you have to do to unsubscribe is click on the link at the bottom of the newsletter.

Looking forward to welcoming you to my growing list of insiders!

Maryanne

 

Maryanne Nicholls is a Registered Psychotherapist.  To find out more, gain access to her weekly newsletter, meditations and programmes, sign up at www.thejoyofliving.co .

The real meaning of “Impromptu”

Impromptu

Mark Twain was the inspiration for this blog when I happened upon his quote: “It usually takes me more than three weeks to prepare a good impromptu speech.”

Exactly! He does have a way with words.

When I read this, I decided to make my next Toastmasters speech about it – for all of my colleagues who believe they lack in some way because they don’t have the “impromptu” part figured out yet.

To prepare for this speech I did some research, and came across an excellent article written by Chris Anderson, curator of TED, about how TED support their speakers.  They don’t choose their speakers based on whether they can come up with a speech on the spot. They choose their speakers based on three things:  the original idea, the story, and the speaker’s passion for their idea.

TED gives a speaker 6 months to prepare a speech, which must be completed a month ahead of time.  A speaker must memorize their speech, completely, before giving it: no scripts or teleprompters allowed.  Mr. Anderson believes that reading from a script or teleprompter disappoints and disengages the audience. Memorizing all of it is the only way.

Not impromptu.

What is impromptu is the idea, and the speaker’s passion. The rest is practice, practice, practice.

 

Announcements

If you like this blog, you’ll also like my newsletters [link to latest newsletter that’s published in website ] for an sample]. It’s written only for my insiders who sign up, and provides weekly insights, not only from me, but from others I admire.

To sign up for my insider newsletter, click here.  If you find it doesn’t work for you, all you have to do to unsubscribe is click on the link at the bottom of the newsletter.

Looking forward to welcoming you to my growing list of insiders!

Maryanne

 

Maryanne Nicholls is a Registered Psychotherapist.  To find out more, gain access to her weekly newsletter, meditations and programmes, sign up at www.thejoyofliving.co .

 

Karma

Darlene recently made a decision that might upend her life in ways she never wanted. She did want, with all her heart, to be successful in her profession. To that end, she did something scary and invested heavily in a program that promised to help her achieve her dream. The scary part was that it was a big risk for her: she was close to retirement age and this money was earmarked for just that.  She knew that if this didn’t work, she’d be in trouble.

Before she made her move, did Darlene do her homework and base her decisions on what she really knew about herself? Or did she blindly jump in, trusting in others instead of herself? If she blindly jumped in, then she’s just increased her own karma.

Karma is the sum of our actions in this lifetime that will determine our next lifetime. This means if we’re considerate in our actions, that sum is lower; if not, it’s higher.

Even if it ends up being a mistake – what Darlene did – if she chose with care and consideration, whatever happens won’t be as gloomy as it would have been had it been a thoughtless move.  She need not recriminate herself – it was a risk. She loses no self-esteem, and can as a result bounce back much easier.

I’ve noticed in my practice and in my own life, that people can make themselves miserable if they let other people run their lives. For instance, if I react to a comment from a friend that feels hurtful, that “friend” is momentarily running my life – and I’ve just added to my karma. If I make any decision based on what I think others in my life want instead of what I want, I’m building karma.

It’s the source of human suffering – this build-up of karma. The best way I know to begin to reduce that suffering is to empower myself by clearing out judgments and comparisons, and living life on my own terms.

Announcements

If you like this blog, you’ll also like my newsletters. It’s written only for my insiders who sign up, and provides weekly insights, not only from me, but from others I admire.

To sign up for my insider newsletter, click here.  If you find it doesn’t work for you, all you have to do to unsubscribe is click on the link at the bottom of the newsletter.

Looking forward to welcoming you to my growing list of insiders!

Maryanne

 

Maryanne Nicholls is a Registered Psychotherapist.  To find out more, gain access to her weekly newsletter, meditations and programmes, sign up at www.thejoyofliving.co .