Jaw breaker or licorice – I have to decide. I’m frozen on the spot … jaw breaker or licorice. Once I decide, my hard-earned 25 cents will be a thing of the past.
My sister refuses to accompany me to the corner store any longer, because standing there with me in my frozen state is just too unbearable.
That’s my earliest memory of indecision. Happily, it’s no longer a problem. But honestly, it took way too long to let it go.
When it was a problem, the dilemma was always around the possibility of making the wrong decision and regretting what I’d done. The turned down job, the loved one I chose to leave, the city or county I moved away from. For anyone who has experienced this feeling, every decision we make and act on sets us down a path, and by doing so, limits the possibility of experiencing some different, possibly better, path.
We won’t ever know now … we tell ourselves. And right away, feel regret for the decision we did make, robbing us of enjoying it in any way.
But, there’s a more important thing that we do to ourselves whenever we stand in indecision: we reinforce our own self-doubt and deepen the distrust we have in ourselves a little more. We do this because we stop listening to what we want and start listening instead to what others may want. Mom doesn’t like jaw breakers because they can break my teeth, so even though I really want the jaw breaker, I’m thinking of what my mother wants and how she will be disappointed in me.
This indecision means I’m not listening to myself, that I’m ignoring my own wishes. And the more I do it, the more faint that inner knowing becomes. And the less I am able to trust myself.
A wise man once said that we are free to choose anything at all, as long as we’re willing to accept the results of our choice. If I could have accepted that my mother might have been disappointed, then I could also be free to really enjoy that jaw breaker.
Be Choosy about Choosing
Quote of the Week
“The risk of a wrong decision is preferable to the terror of indecision.”
Need more? At times we need more – we know the logic, know what to do. And yet something is still blocking us. I offer both one-on-one consultations and coaching packages. For more information, visit my website www.thejoyofliving.co/services-and-programs or contact me directly at firstname.lastname@example.org .
Maryanne Nicholls is a Registered Psychotherapist and Life Coach. To find out more, gain access to her weekly newsletter, meditations and programmes, sign up at www.thejoyofliving.co.