THE BRAVELY BALANCED BLOG
For the overachiever and the overworked!
How exhausted are you? I know the feeling!
Does being exhausted serve you? What if I told you that you could have it all without subjecting yourself to hustle culture?
Sounds divine, doesn’t it? Follow along and feel the ease!
Attitude and Approach
I’m reminded of the Serenity Prayer – many times a week – as people, including myself, wrestle with the restrictions that continue to be a part of all our lives. The Serenity Prayer, originating from the theologian Reinhold Niebuhr in the 1930’s, goes like this:God, grant me the serenity to accept the things I cannot change, courage to change the things I can, and wisdom to know the difference. It reminds me that there are many things I want to be different and can’t make different. There is, however, one thing I can influence – the attitude I come to any situation with, and the approach I take towards it. Instead of feeling put out that appointments are being cancelled because of a new lockdown, I can change my attitude to something less painful.
Beyond the Limits: A Personal Odyssey from Overdrive to Balance
I am getting my branding redesigned – very exciting! Packing to go to a weekend workshop tomorrow. Finally cleaning up my storage areas after having moved to my current location 2 and a half years ago. Clearing out my gardens so that I can begin to plant. And, of course, doing the regular daily things that make up my personal and work day.
All wonderful. All exciting. All, to my mind, necessary. I could blame it on an early Spring… and it’s true that we all feel a hopefulness every Spring that gets us going. But that wouldn’t be all, because I habitually juggle many things at once.
I habitually tend to overstuff my days and weeks …
Holding on too tight: When to let go and thrive
I catch myself holding on too tight at times. Honestly, I don’t realize it until a friend mentions something, or after I let go and notice the difference. It’s always from some fear that takes me into holding on as if my life depended on it, because in the moment that is what it feels like. Apparently, it comes from the time movies first started to be made, and actors had to be their own stunt men or women – when they might need to dangle from a bridge, or dangle from the side of a rail car, “for dear life”.
Respecting the process in relationship
It’s good to have an end to journey toward; but it is the journey that matters in the end. - Ursula K. LeGuin
I have a late cancellation policy that I used to feel bad about every time a client cancelled late. Then, somewhere down time, I realized that everything that happens in a therapy or coaching session – it’s all a part of the therapeutic or coaching process. Other than a medical emergency, my client made a decision to do something else. That is their right, as is my right to charge them. We both agreed to it, and it informs us both.
Expectations and Surprises: Decoding the Language of Confusion
A woman was sitting next to me in a coffee shop in deep conversation with someone over the phone. The discussion was animated, at least on her end. I couldn’t help but notice her expression because it, too, was very animated.
Shifting Perspectives: Embracing the Lion-Mouse Within
A friend told me about a time when she was in a typical work self-improvement seminar, meant to help build team spirit. One exercise involved choosing an image that represented each team member. Each individual would choose one for themselves, and then one for all the other team members, collectively. When it came to her, she chose a lion; her mates chose a mouse.
Striking a Balance: Embracing Hope While Managing Expectations
In a week, I’ll spend a day reviewing the past year and setting my intentions for the new year. In looking back over the year, I began it with hopes for the future and expectations on what that future would be like.
Reflect, Learn, Intend: A Year-End Journey
This is my final blog for 2023, and I wanted it to reflect on the past year to see how it went for me in my world, and set to intentions for the new year, based on what I want to improve and accomplish moving forward. I do this every year-end.
Ears of the Heart
I came across a Latin phrase the other day that sounded like something we could all use today. Today, so many of us are protecting ourselves from accusations and judgments because of misunderstandings or the heightened sensitivities of others.
Perspectives on Fairness
When I was growing up in a family with 2 competing brothers and a sister, ensuring the deserts were exactly the same size was of prime importance. Otherwise, it might imply that one sibling was getting special treatment. And that was not fair!
Breath as a Lifeline: Navigating Anxiety and Overwhelm
Sometimes my job feels like a gift: every time I manage to really help a person, I feel great. And, every time I manage to help someone, I also help myself, and learn how to help others as well.
In case you haven’t noticed, anxiety is all around us these days. So is panic. For some, because of past pain, every challenge that comes their way feels so threatening that they go into a panic, even if they know they can handle that challenge.
Mirroring – I see you, I see me
I watched 2 friends in conflict: They were missing each other’s message. One of them eventually said to the other “I feel you don’t trust me!” The other felt hurt by that comment and said so, because it was as if their friend was laying the cause of the disagreement at their feet without owning any part of it.
The Choice Between Collaboration and Teamwork: A Personal Perspective
These days, it’s popular to talk about being part of a team – being a team player is desired, being a loner is not desired.
Sometimes, working in a team seems good – every viewpoint is considered, every desire included, and the end result is – hopefully – something that everyone on the team wants and can stand behind.
The truth is not that clear-cut: often what happens when everyone on a team has an equal say is that either some form of compromise is reached where nobody gets what they want entirely (that’s the best possibility); or factions form and argue for their viewpoint, eventually wearing down any team member who disagrees. It’s rare that the result is what everyone wants, and frequent that the result was obtained through peer pressure.
Practice makes expertise
Practice makes perfect is a quote from Benjamin Franklin that is now a cliché. When I try a new recipe, I follow the instructions with care, and it often turns out well. The second time, I only look at the recipe if I feel lost, and it often does not turn out well. The third time, it becomes something completely different, and sometimes it turns out well. After that, if I continue with it, I develop my own version of that initial recipe that tastes good all the time.In every instance, I eat what I make. (If you’re ever eating at my place, it may be a good idea to find out what repetition I’m on).
The Science of Healing: Placebos and the Mind-Body Connection
A placebo is defined as a harmless substance or procedure meant to benefit emotionally more than physically, although due to its positive psychological impact, this in turn positively impacts us physically. Placebos are now developed and used for their powerful emotional impact – the world of science and commerce has begun to take note, and to find ways – for better and worse – to make use of them: Shopping for something beautiful when you’re recovering from a difficult surgery. Having friends over for dinner when you’ve been through a stressful week.
Where it all begins
I woke at around 2am: wide awake and feeling ‘perfectly fine’. I just couldn’t get back to sleep. This isn’t very common for me anymore, but it still happens. When I wake like that, it’s because something is worrying me and it isn’t something in my awareness. I’ve learned to suppress my anxiety very well so that it often only rises up like that in the middle of the night.
Personal Priorities - recognizing your need for change
I received a note from a colleague this week, saying she was taking time off in order to be with her family. I honored that, and her clarity on knowing what comes first.
I myself, and many of my clients, often forget to do this. We end up noticing only when we’re exhausted or our body breaks down. You’d think we’d learn, but we don’t.
Seeking Truth, Compassion, and Usefulness
I was reminded what Ursula K Le Guin – a hero of mine – had on her desk when Seth Godin referred to it in one of his daily blogs: Is it true? Is it necessary or at least useful? Is it compassionate or at least unharmful? Her novels were labelled science fiction. They were captivating to me and many others. And they contained lessons on how to live with yourself and others no matter when or where you landed, including here on Earth, today. We need that, especially today.
Our sacred responsibility to ourselves
I’ve had a life-long problem with self-care. Self-care is the first thing I drop when I’m busy and have things ‘more interesting’ to deal with.
I am aware I’m not alone in this lack of self-regard. It seems at least partly cultural. It’s definitely something my community views as admirable in some ways – the image of the self-sacrificing person caring for their world around them at a cost to themselves.
There are any number of ways I can ignore self-care. Most of the time it’s daily: yes, I brush my teeth and these days make sure I get enough sleep; I also have a daily meditation routine that I’ve - at long last – made a habit. I try to eat well, etc., etc.. But what I drop very quickly are daily stretches and exercises, light eating at specified times with family – anything I either don’t like that much, or for things I like more. With the convenient excuse that I don’t have time for sitting down to a meal, or getting outside for half an hour.
Grape vines
Almost everyone I know who isn’t retiring wants to start their own business. That generally means building an online presence, and that usually means getting professional help. This professional help might include coaches, trainers, required courses or certifications, virtual assistants, social media experts, website builders, technical support, and/or accounting. None of these supports are absolutely needed, but most could really help … if you can afford it, and if you luck out choosing the right people. Pretty much all of them come with a hefty price tag, and for a starting business, that’s difficult. I personally know how difficult it can be: my business is my own; I am largely online and need support for that.